


as long as we got stars to count on (the kids are alright)

by inlovewithimpossibility



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Childhood Friends, F/M, You Have Been Warned, this was meant to be light fluff but turned into a monster of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 11:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19150303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inlovewithimpossibility/pseuds/inlovewithimpossibility
Summary: Oliver Queen's life changes one day when he's nine years old and his nanny takes him across town to pick up her friend's daughter to help the women out of a dire situation. Over the next fifteen years, Felicity Smoak weaves her way into his life and he finds himself rather in love with her until a boat trip and a storm change their lives all over again.





	as long as we got stars to count on (the kids are alright)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all :)   
> This is by far the longest one-shot I have ever written so I really hope you all like it!  
> The title is taken from Tate McRae's 'The Kids are Alright' which I had on repeat whilst writing this.   
> There's a couple of conversations taken and manipulated from the show, mostly from 3x14, and therefore, none of that dialogue is mine :)   
> Kudos and comments make me very happy :)

“Please Raisa?” Oliver begs, his elbows propped up on the island and his head cupped in his hands. He tries his best adorable look and the nanny smiles at him, shaking her head.

“You know that look does not work with me, mal’chik.” She frowns at him and Oliver sighs.

“It just makes sense. You said you need to go.” He tells her and Raisa smirks, shaking her head.

“I can go once your father gets home. I assure you, grocery stores are not as exciting as you think they are, Mr. Oliver.” The austere woman shakes her head and Oliver shrugs.

“Then take me with you and prove it.” He nods happily and Raisa rolls her eyes affectionately, removing her apron and reaching for her purse.

“Come on then, get your coat.” She tells him and Oliver grins, letting out a loud whoop before he jumps down and rushes towards the hall closet to find his jacket. “I swear I will never understand the rich.”

“Raisa?” Oliver asks her on the way, his leg jiggling a little on the floor and Raisa raises an eyebrow, humming to prompt him to continue. “Do you think that I’ll see Mom and Dad even less once the new baby gets here?”

“Now what makes you say that?” Raisa asks, frowning deeply as she looks over at her charge.

“Well he or she’s going to need their attention so the time they _do_ spend with me now, isn’t that time that they’ll now spend with her?”

“Oh no, sweet boy. Once your sibling is born, they’ll need your parents’ attention, yes, but they’ll still make an effort to spend time with you, I promise.” She assures him, forcing a reassuring smile. Oliver doesn’t look entirely convinced but he nods, rubbing his hands over his knees. She knows they need to continue this conversation, but they’ve arrived at the grocery store, so she guides him inside.

They’re halfway down the dairy aisle when a ringing from Raisa’s bag makes her jump. She’s unused to the mobile device Mr Queen makes her carry, claiming that if she’s looking after their son then she needs to be armed with the latest communication device. She digs it out of her bag and answers it, grasping Oliver by the shoulder to stop him from wandering off.

“Hello?”

“Raisa? Is that you?”

It’s not Mr or Mrs Queen like she expected but instead, the only other person who has this number.

“Donna? Is everything okay?” She asks, shaking her head when Oliver raises one of his eyebrows impatiently. It sounds like her friend is crying.

“No, um… not really. Are you working today?” Donna asks and Raisa frowns. She knows that Donna definitely is working. She takes every shift she can at the casino and the diner since that mудак she used to call a husband walked out on her and that beautiful baby girl.

“Donna, what’s going on?” She demands, running a hand through Oliver’s hair as the boy grows impatient.

“I, um, my boss, the manager of the casino. I don’t even know how she got behind there but Felicity was messing around with the register and he found her. Turns out, she said right to his face that his IT system is terrible and started listing the ways he could improve it. Raisa, he was so angry. He said I need to get her out of here or I’ll lose my job. I can’t ever bring her again. What am I going to do?” Donna asks, sobbing and Raisa frowns. She knows Donna can’t afford a babysitter and Felicity is far too young to be home alone, especially in the area the Smoak’s live in.

“Don’t worry about later for now. I’ll come and get Felicity now and we’ll work it out, alright? I promise we’ll work this out.” Raisa tells her friend and she can hear her sniffling on the other end of the phone.

“Thank you, Raisa.”

“Hey, we do not thank family.” Raisa reminds her and takes a deep breath. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Thank you.” Donna repeats despite Raisa’s last words and the Russian woman rolls her eyes, hanging up the phone.

“Come on, Mr Oliver. Change of plans. We’ll get the food another time.” She tells her charge and Oliver frowns, following as he starts to spout questions.

“But where are we going? When are we going to get the food? I thought you said you needed some things to make the dinner you were going to make tonight? What’s so important? Who was on the phone?”

Raisa shakes her head at him and loads him into the car before heading over to the other side of town, hoping she hasn’t just compromised her job.

 

* * *

 

 

Oliver has never been to this side of town.

It’s the place that his mother told him less fortunate people live and that he should never go there alone because sometimes less fortunate people can be angry at the people who are more fortunate than them.

He’s with Raisa though, so he knows he’s safe.

All he knows is that they’re going somewhere to help someone named Donna, who Raisa claims is her friend. It’s something to do with her daughter who has a funny name that Oliver can’t remember. There’s definitely a Lis in there somewhere.

Raisa pulls her car up outside a large building with lots of gold on it. Oliver knows it’s the sort of thing his mother would call tacky, but Raisa is getting out the car, so Oliver follows suit. His nanny grasps him by the shoulder and heads towards the entrance.

It doesn’t seem that they’re going inside, however. Raisa pulls him off to the side where two people are stood. A woman and her daughter. Oliver assumes this is Donna and her daughter.

The little girl, who is quite a bit smaller than Oliver and dressed in jean shorts and a t-shirt, is crying. Her blonde curls are all over the place around her head. Oliver’s never seen someone his own age with hair like that. Kind of like the princesses in the books his parents are buying for the new baby. She’s pretty.

“I’m sorry Mom! I didn’t mean to make him mad!” The girl is telling her mother and the older woman, who she looks quite a bit like, shushes her and shakes her head.

“No baby, it’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

“Donna.” Raisa finally speaks and it gains the attention of them both. His nanny hugs both the woman and her daughter, running her hand over the girl’s hair in the same way she does to Oliver when he’s upset.

“Thank you so much for coming, Raisa.” Donna tells her and then her gaze settles on Oliver, her face contorting into one of shock. “You didn’t say you were working.” She comments, her eyes snapping back to Raisa’s.

“I’ll work it out, I promise. I wasn’t going to let you lose your job.” Raisa tells her and Oliver frowns.

“You’re losing your job? Did you do something bad?” He asks and Raisa gasps, looking down at him in shock.

“Mr. Oliver! I know I taught you better manners than that!” She admonishes and Oliver blushes.

“Sorry. I just… Dad was upset the other day about having to fire people. When I asked him why he had to do it, he said that they’d done something bad which hurt the company. He said that’s the only reason anyone should be fired.” Oliver explains and Donna’s face morphs from shock into a sad smile.

“Your father sounds like a very smart man.” She tells him and Oliver grins, nodding his head.

“He is! He runs a big company on the other side of town. I’m Oliver, Oliver Queen.” He introduces himself, extending a hand like he’s been taught and Donna chuckles, shaking his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, Oliver. I’m Donna and this is my daughter, Felicity.” She introduces and steps back, placing a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. Felicity (he knew there was a Lis in there) wipes away her tears and offers him a small smile and a wave.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” She says softly and her voice is sweet. It’s kind of high but Oliver smiles at her nonetheless, offering her a wave as well.

“You too. I like your t-shirt.” He offers and a smile lights up her face.

“Thanks! It’s Doctor Who!” She says as if that’s something he ought to know.

He’ll learn over the next few years that a lot of things Felicity Smoak says, he doesn’t know. She uses words that he doesn’t know the meanings off, talks about computers as if they have feelings, and rambles about tv shows he would never have any inclination of watching if it wasn’t for her.

Now however, he frowns and looks up at Raisa who subtly shakes her head.

“That’s cool.” He offers and is glad when the smile on Felicity’s face only grows.

“Come on, Felicity, you can come give me a hand with dinner for the Queens.” Raisa tells the girl who frowns and looks up at her mom.

“It’s okay, baby. Go with Raisa and she’ll look after you. I’ll come get you when my shift is over, alright? We’ll work out what we’re going to do from there.” Donna tells her, running her fingers through Felicity’s hair and the little girl nods.

“Okay Mom. I love you.” She tells her and wraps her arms around her mother’s waist. Oliver watches in amazement at the way Donna grips her back, kissing her hair over and over again until her daughter is giggling. He hasn’t seen a mother that bright and loving since Tommy’s mom died last year.

“I love you much, baby. Be good, okay?” Donna tells her daughter, cupping her cheek and Felicity nods, turning to Oliver with a shy smile.

“We have a really cool slide in the backyard at my house. I bet you could go really fast down it.” He tells her and Felicity smiles, stepping towards him.

“You think? I’m not very good at playgrounds.” She tells him and Oliver frowns.

“How can you be good at a playground? The point is to have fun.” He tells her and Felicity shrugs.

“The other kids at school say I’m not very good at it.” She reveals and Oliver scoffs.

“Then they must be dumb. Playgrounds are for having fun, I’ll show you when we get to mine.” He offers and Felicity smiles, nodding her head.

“I’d like that.”

 

* * *

 

 

Robert Queen has had a long day at the office and he’s looking forward to some of Raisa’s wonderful cooking and a glass of scotch.

“I’m just going to put these away.” He tells his wife as they enter the foyer and Moira nods, sending him a smile as she follows the sound of their son’s voice down to the kitchen.

He heads in the opposite direction and enters his study. He freezes in the door, however, when he sees a small, blonde girl kneeling up on his desk chair, inspecting his computer.

“Hello there.” He speaks and her little face snaps up to him, her eyes automatically widening in shock and a blush spreading across her face.

“I’m sorry, Sir! I didn’t mean to snoop!” She tells him and Robert chuckles.

“I think that’s exactly what you meant to do, seeing as you are in here with no one else.” He tells her and her eyes widen, biting her lip worriedly. He places his briefcase on the desk and rounds it so that he can see what she’s doing. He’s surprised to see lines of code on the screen. “Did you press the wrong button?”

“Oh no, I just wanted to see how the anti-virus software works exactly. This uses the new DOS 6.3, no? I haven’t been able to see it yet. It’s too expensive, _obviously,_ and I haven’t been anywhere that has a computer that uses it. It’s absolutely fascinating. The code’s incredible but you should look into getting a faster processor. The one you have is at least six months out of date and, with your new operating system, you want to make sure that the computer can handle it.”

Robert can do nothing but blink.

This girl is tiny. No taller than 4ft and no bigger than 45 pounds. She’s all adorable blonde curls and blue eyes but she just spoke with more eloquence than some of his best employees at the company about his computer.

“Who are you, young lady, and what are you doing in my office?” He asks and she blushes again, scrambling off his desk chair to reveal just how tiny she is. He smiles briefly at her Doctor Who t-shirt before raising an eyebrow at her.

“My name’s Felicity. Felicity Ku… Smoak. Sorry, that’s still taking some getting used to. Raisa told me to go straight back to the kitchen after I used the restroom, but I was distracted by your computer. I shouldn’t have come in, Sir, I’m sorry.” She blushes and looks down at her beat-up sneakers.

“Raisa… are you one of Ollie’s friends from school?” Robert questions and Felicity looks up at him in surprise, shaking her head.

“Oliver? No, I just met him today. He seems nice though.” She smiles and Robert frowns. If this girl doesn’t know his son, what on earth is she doing in his house?

“Felicity! My goodness!” Raisa’s heavily accented voice sounds from the door and Felicity blushes bright red, her eyes going wide again. “What did I tell you, young lady? Come here right now and stop bothering Mr. Queen. I am so sorry, Mr. Queen. I had hoped you would give me the chance to explain.”

Felicity looks between the two of them and rushes over to the older Russian woman, wincing a little as she clamps a hand down on her shoulder.

“It’s alright Raisa, Felicity here and I were just having a conversation about my computer. She seems to know a lot about them. What she couldn’t tell me a lot about is why she’s here in the first place but maybe you could enlighten me on that whilst she heads back to the kitchen?” Robert suggests, smiling at the girl who looks surprised at his suggestion.

“Are you sure, Mr. Queen?” She asks quietly and he smiles at her, nodding his head.

“I will certainly take your suggestion about that processor. Thank you for that, young lady. Now, if I remember correctly, I hid a packet of Oreos at the back of the medicine cabinet. I think a situation such as this calls for Oreos, don’t you agree, Felicity?” He asks and Felicity finally grins, nodding her head and sending her blonde curls bouncing. “Go on then. Oliver will show you where the cabinet is. Leave me a couple, okay?”

“Yes, Mr Queen. Thank you.” She says politely and looks up at Raisa who gives her a confused smile and sends the girl off with a gentle pat.

“Sweet girl, very smart.” Robert comments to his employee and gestures to a seat at his desk. “Take a seat, Raisa, and tell me who that delightful young lady is and what she’s doing in my house.”

 

* * *

 

 

“The daughter of a cocktail waitress, Robert? That’s the kind of company you want our son to keep?” Moira asks him later, keeping her voice hushed as they watch the two children play outside. Raisa is outside supervising them with a smile on her face, grateful that she’s found a solution for her friend’s predicament.

“Have you spoken to her, Moira? She’s smarter than most adults I know, and Oliver seems to like her. I don’t see the issue with Raisa helping her friend out. Maybe having someone else around for a few hours a day will help Oliver adjust to having someone else in the house before the new baby.” Robert suggests and Moira sighs, her hands settling over her now visible baby bump.

“He’s fine with Tommy being around. Why does he need other friends?” Moira asks and Robert shakes his head.

“It will be good for him, to have a friend outside of our circles.” He tells her and his wife glares, turning her angry gaze on him.

“That’s not the sort of thing I want him exposed to, Robert. Not yet.” Moira sighs and Robert shakes his head.

“I don’t want to raise a son who’s unaware of his privilege, Moira. I’m putting my foot down on this. Felicity is welcome here whenever she needs to be. I respect Raisa’s dedication to her friends and her mother’s commitment to working so that she can raise that little girl. Not everyone does that.” Robert reminds his wife and Moira sighs, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I hope this isn’t a decision you grow to regret, Robert.” She comments before she walks away and Robert shakes his head, looking back out the window to see that the two children have stopped playing and are sat on top of the platform that prefaces the slide, talking.

He likes little Felicity Smoak. She’s spunky and he thinks she’ll be good for his son.

 

* * *

 

 

“Your mom doesn’t like me.” Felicity comments, watching the way that Moira Queen walks away from her husband in a huff just inside the doorway. She swings her little legs through the bar and settles on the platform, looking over at Oliver as he settles next to her.

“Mom doesn’t like a lot of people, don’t worry about it. Dad really likes you though, he didn’t even tell _me_ that he had a hidden Oreo stash.” Oliver tells her and the tone of his voice tells her that that’s something she should be impressed by.

“I guess. Raisa said I’m going to be coming here after school most days. Does that bother you?” She asks, laying her arms on the bar and putting her chin on top of them.

“No, you’re cool. You’re like _way_ smarter than me, but you’re funny and for what it’s worth, if there was a way to be good at playgrounds, you’re good at them.” He tells her and Felicity laughs, shaking her head.

“I like you too, Oliver.” She tells him and Oliver smiles. “It’s cool that you’re happy to hang around with a seven-year-old.”

“Well, at least you’re not whiny.” He grins and Felicity gasps, before spotting Oliver’s grin and rolling her eyes. “So, why’s it just you and your mom? She seems cool, but where’s your dad?”

Felicity freezes.

She tries not to think about her dad.

She hasn’t been the same since he left. It’s harder to smile. It’s harder to be happy.

She really likes being happy.

She’d almost forgotten with how much fun she had with Oliver this afternoon.

“I don’t where he is.” The words bring tears to her eyes. She can’t help it. It still hurts so much. “He just wasn’t there a few months ago. Mom said that he left us. That’s why it’s just me and my mom now.”

“I’m sorry. My friend, Tommy’s mom died last year. He was really sad for a long time. It made me sad too. She was nice.” Oliver comments and Felicity shrugs.

“That’s sad but at least he knows that she didn’t want to go. My dad chose to go away from me.” Felicity states and Oliver frowns, wrapping an arm around her back.

“I’m sorry. That does sound sad. But at least you have your mom and Raisa. And you have me now too.” Oliver smiles at her and Felicity manages to quirk the edge of her lips up into a bad impersonation of one too.

“Thanks, Oliver. That means a lot.”

 

* * *

 

 

Felicity Smoak quickly becomes a permanent fixture in the Queen household. She’s there most days, laughing and playing with Oliver. Robert continues to be amused by the tiny blonde genius and even Moira warms to the girl, her pregnancy making her slightly more open to feelings than usual. She can’t deny the way the small girl makes her son smile and, if she helps him become a little more socially aware, Moira supposes there’s not much wrong with that. She’s still wary of the mother. Skirts that tight and short are never going to be acceptable in Moira’s eyes but she can’t blame the poor child for her mother. Children should never be burdened with their parents’ mistakes, Moira has been pondering that with this pregnancy and her big, dark secret surrounding it.

Thea Dearden Queen screams her way into the world on a cold January morning in 1995. Her head of dark hair worries Moira that her daughter’s appearance will indicate her true parentage, but no one is any the wiser and the household and the public quickly fall in love with the smallest addition to the family.

Oliver, however, doesn’t quite have the reaction he’d hoped for.

The new baby means that Felicity hasn’t been around for a few days which has put her son in a foul mood to begin with. Add in the crying that Thea does all night and Oliver is rather unimpressed by his new baby sister.

“She’s cute I guess.” Moira catches him speaking into the phone. He’s either talking to Tommy or Felicity and guessing by the fact he’s been hogging the phone for over an hour, she’ll hazard it’s the latter. “She cries a lot. It’s annoying.”

He pauses for a minute before he huffs.

“Yeah, I know babies cry, Lissy. I may not be as smart as you but I’m not a total idiot.”

Moira chuckles into her hand and freezes but her son is far too interested in listening to whatever his friend is telling him.

“When are you going to come around again? I miss you.” He whines and Moira raises an eyebrow.

She knew her son misses his friend who’s normally here a lot, but Oliver isn’t one to whine. He claimed only last week that it’s something that babies do.

“That’s dumb. Tell your mom that my parents don’t mind. It’s not as if you’re going to get in the way of anything. She’s so small and she can’t even hold her own head up yet.”

Moira does snort at that. It seems that poor Thea doesn’t get a very high rating from her brother. Seeing how he is with Felicity though; she knows that it will change over time and he’s been overall patient for a ten-year-old boy. Thinking that through, she steps into the hallway, making her presence known.

“Can I speak to Felicity for a moment, darling?” She asks him and Oliver frowns.

“Hang on, Mom wants to talk to you.” He speaks into the receiver and hands the phone over, frowning up at his mother.

“Felicity?” She asks once she gets the phone settled against her ear.

“Mrs Queen, hi! How are you? How’s the new baby? Mom said that sometimes it takes some time to recover from birth so I should ask how you are as well as the baby next time I spoke to you.” Felicity’s bubbly ramble sounds exactly the same down the phone as it does in person, and it makes Moira smile a little.

“I’m doing well, Felicity, thank you for asking. The baby is doing well as well. Actually, I was thinking that maybe you might like to restart your usual routine and come meet her tomorrow after school?” She suggests and she can’t help but smile as Felicity’s excited gasp combines with Oliver’s and her son grins up at her.

“Really, Mrs Queen? I would absolutely love to. Thank you so much! I can’t wait to meet Thea!” Felicity says and Moira can tell that’s she’s actually genuinely excited which is nice.

“No problem at all, dear. We should start getting back into a routine and that includes you. I’ll see you tomorrow. Would you like me to hand the phone back to Oliver?” She asks and Oliver’s smile widens.

“No that’s okay Mrs Queen, I’ll see him tomorrow. Thank you so much! Bye!” Felicity calls and Moira returns the phone to the cradle as the line goes dead.

“She went?” Oliver asks, his face dropping a little and Moira smiles, reaching over to push his dirty blonde hair off of his forehead.

“Yes, but you’ll see her tomorrow darling.”

Oliver lights up again and wraps his arms around her waist. “Thanks Mom! You’re the best!”

 

* * *

 

 

Months turn into years and Thea grows from a baby to a toddler to a fully-fledged child. Oliver grows into a teenager and the big brother his parents always knew he could be. Felicity’s by his side for every step of the way and the two only grow closer as the years progress.

When Felicity grows old enough to be left alone at home, her visits to the mansion turn less into organised fun and more towards ‘hanging out’. Moira is initially resistant to the idea of sleepovers, but Oliver insists, and Robert claims he doesn’t seem the harm, so she relents.

They’re not each other’s first kisses.

Oliver’s happens when he is thirteen.

McKenna Hall drags him behind the science block at school one day and claims she wants to one-up Laurel Lance on something. Apparently, the older Lance girl has her eye on Oliver, so McKenna wants to kiss him before she does. Before Oliver can really wrap his head around it, she’s pressing her lips to his.

“So, how was it?” Eleven-year-old Felicity asks him later, lying across his bed. Her legs are thrown across his lap and she’s balancing her head on her arm propped up by her elbow, a curious look on her face.

“Wet.” He comments and Felicity wrinkles her nose.

“Gross. You really know how to make a girl wanna be kissed, Oliver.” She snorts and Oliver freezes, raising an eyebrow. Felicity blushes and rolls her eyes. “Not now, you idiot. Boys are gross.”

“If we’re so gross, you can get your legs off me.” Oliver snorts and pushes her legs away, moving instead to tickle her sides. She starts to squeal with laughter and Oliver laughs too, grateful to have gotten away from the topic of kissing.

 

* * *

 

 

Oliver manages another year before he has to contemplate the thought of Felicity kissing again. It’s summer and he’s 14 and he finally convinced his parents to let him throw a pool party the day before his freshman year. The music is loud, the pool area is full of girls in bikinis, and everyone’s having a good time.

“Damn, when did Laurel Lance start looking like that?”

Tommy’s comment draws Oliver’s eyes over to where the brunette is sat at the side of the pool. She’s with her friends, laughing over something, but Oliver has to admit, she looks good. She’s grown upwards this summer and thinned out everywhere else. Her new body is very much on show in a bikini that’s more ties than anything else.

“She looks good, bro.” Oliver replies and Tommy frowns.

“Seriously, dude? That girl is basically foaming at the mouth to be with you. I bet she’d let you touch her boobs. Why would you not jump on that?” His best friend questions and Oliver shrugs.

“I don’t know. Why don’t you give it a shot?” He offers and Tommy scoffs.

“Yeah, like she’d ever go for me. That girl has been priming and primping herself for one man only, Ollie, and it’s not me.”

“Well maybe it should be.” Oliver replies, making Tommy frown.

“Okay, what the hell is going on with you?” He asks and Oliver raises an eyebrow. “You’ve been distracted all afternoon.”

“You haven’t seen Felicity, have you? I haven’t seen her since she got here and then you swept me away to play beer pong.” Oliver frowns, straining his head to look around the yard for his other best friend.

“Oh, should have known it was about the kid.” Tommy snorts and Oliver glares. “Okay, calm down.”

“She’s not a kid.” He tells him and Tommy chuckles, shaking his head.

“She’s 12, dude.” Tommy’s voice is monotone and blank and Oliver sighs, rolling his eyes.

“That’s only two years younger than us and she’s ten years older than us in brain power.” Oliver tells her and Tommy smirks.

“Whatever, dude. She’s over there, look. She’s with Carter Bowen.”

Tommy’s words give him pause and Oliver turns to see that Felicity is indeed sat with Carter Bowen, the smartest kid in their grade. He’s also a massive dick and Oliver sees red as he says something and Felicity giggles, prompting him to reach out and tuck one of her newly blonde curls behind her ear.

She’s been begging her mom to dye her hair back to the colour it was when she was little pretty much since it started to darken when she was around eight. Donna finally relented this summer, deeming 12 old enough for her first hair dye. Oliver had been a little shocked at the transformation, especially because it somehow coincided with her boobs starting to develop and her figure filling out around the hips. It’s not that Oliver never considered Felicity to be a girl, he’s just never really considered her in that way before. Not that his does now, she’s still 12 for goodness sake’s.

Carter Bowen, however, seems to have no issue with it whatsoever and Oliver lets out a growl as he watches his classmate’s fingertips skim down his best friend’s bare arm. The bikini top and jean shorts she’s wearing aren’t particularly revealing but Oliver sees red as Carter’s hand lands on her waist. He watches in disbelief as Carter leans in and presses his lips against Felicity’s.

The kiss lasts maybe ten seconds and Felicity is smiling when Carter pulls away, but Oliver doesn’t care about any of that. He’s heading across the yard before he even knows what he’s doing.

“Felicity!” He calls and the girl frowns, looking up at him in surprise.

“Queen.” Carter smirks. He moves to sit next to Felicity and slides his arm around her waist. She giggles a little as his fingers dance across her bare skin and Carter sends Oliver a cocky smile. Oliver frowns and resists the urge to growl. He takes a deep breath, paints a fake smile across his face.

“Lissy, Thea asked me to come find you. She said she found that cartoon you wanted to watch. Oh, and Mom said she found the training bra you lost last week.” Oliver smirks down at her. He regrets his words immediately as Felicity gasps, looking up at him with a hurt expression. It’s the look that Oliver promised himself he wouldn’t put on her face.

“God, Oliver Queen, you are such a jerk!” She yells and jumps up, pushing Oliver on the chest with all her might. She pushes past him and rushes into the house, her upset visible on her face.

“Felicity!” He calls after her but it’s hopeless.

“Damn, Queen, looks like you don’t need any help messing up your life. Your loss, dude, she’s a hell of a little looker. Great little kisser too, can’t wait to get my hands back on her.” Carter smirks and Oliver turns around, swinging his fist straight into the asshole’s eye.

He doesn’t say around to hear the reaction, instead rushing inside to follow Felicity.

“Ollie?”

Oliver freezes as he’s making his way up the stairs. He turns around to see Thea stood at the bottom of the stairs, her eyes wide and full of tears. He glances up the stairs with a long sigh before he turns around and sits on the stairs, opening his arms to his baby sister.

The four-year-old rushes up and into his lap, settling her head on his shoulder and her little hand fists in his t-shirt.

“What are you doing down here, Speedy? I thought you were told to stay upstairs.” He says softly, bouncing his knee a little in an attempt to make her smile.

“I came down to gets a drink.” She tells him and Oliver hums, rubbing a hand over her back soothingly. “Lissy came in and I tried to talk to her, but she just ignored me! She ran straight past me, Ollie! Did I do something wrong?”

Oliver sighs and manages a smile for his little sister. “Oh no, Speedy. You didn’t do anything wrong. I upset Felicity, she’s mad at me.”

“What did you does?” Thea asks, all innocence and wide eyes.

“I kind of ruined a big experience for her.” He explains and Thea gasps, her tiny hand hitting his shoulder.

“That’s not nice, Ollie!” Thea admonishes and Oliver nods his head, dropping a kiss to the top of her head.

“I know, Speedy. That’s why I need to go and say sorry.” He tells her and Thea nods.

“You should go does that.” She tells him and stands up off his lap.

“You’re right. You come upstairs as well, okay? You shouldn’t be down here.” He tells her and Thea nods, running up the stairs. Oliver takes a deep breath before he stands and follows her path.

He finds Felicity in his room with his mother. They’re sat on the edge of his bed and Felicity is curled up in Moira’s arms. His mother is soothingly stroking her hair as Felicity sobs, sniffing every so often.

He knocks lightly on the doorframe and his mother looks up at him, levelling him with a reproachful look.

“Hey Lissy.” He says softly and Felicity sniffs, looking up at him with a glare.

“I have nothing to say to you, Oliver!” She yells at him and his mother sighs, running a hand over Felicity’s curls.

“Alright, maybe we should listen to what he has to say?” Moira suggests and Felicity huffs, sitting up and crossing her arms across her chest. She levels him with a lofty look, raising an eyebrow.

“You have five minutes. Speak.” She demands and Oliver catches his mother hiding a laugh. Oliver knows better than to laugh right now but he does have to admit that his best friend looks more adorable than scary right now.

“I’m so sorry for embarrassing you. You know that Carter drives me crazy and he’s not the kind of guy I think you should be hanging around with. Not that I have any say in that! I’m sorry, it was stupid.” He tells her and Felicity takes a deep breath, pursing her lips.

“You ruined my first kiss.” She tells him and Oliver nods, making his way over to her. He kneels down in front of the bed and holds his hands out. Felicity looks at him for a moment before huffing and placing her hands in his. Oliver smiles at her and squeezes her hands.

“I’ll give you two the room.” Moira comments with a soft smile. She rubs Felicity’s cheek and pats Oliver’s shoulder before she exits.

“I know I ruined your first kiss. I can’t apologise enough for that but I’m going to do everything I can to make it up to you. Name it and I’ll do it.” He tells her and Felicity bites her lip, obviously contemplating his words.

“Even a weekend long Doctor Who marathon?” She sniffles and Oliver chuckles, squeezing her hands.

“Even that. I’ll even make you pancakes both days.” He promises and finally a grin spreads across Felicity’s face.

“I’m holding you to that.” She sniffs and wipes her tears away. Oliver nods.

“Can I get a hug?” He asks and Felicity huffs before she smiles, opening her arms. Oliver quickly scoops her up, sitting on the bed and pulling her into his lap. It’s nothing new for them, cuddling, and Oliver smiles as she nuzzles her nose into his neck.

This is where he feels safe, where he feels like he’s home. Despite everything going on, he knows that when he’s with Felicity, he’ll always feel normal.

 

* * *

 

 

“You did _what?”_ Felicity asks, sat in her customary spot on his bed.

She’s fourteen years old, she just skipped two grades and is finally feeling like her life is in place. She’s still stuck at the crappy public school near the Glades but she’s making the best of a bad situation and, having spoken to Robert, the tech mogul is certain it will only make her college applications stronger to prove that she thrived in that adversity.

She was feeling great, before Oliver dropped this bomb on her.

“Why on earth would you cheat on Laurel?” She asks, her voice high with incredulity. “You do realise that this is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? That’s truly saying something, by the way.”

“Yeah, thanks for the support, Lissy. Really what I need right now.” He bites back and Felicity sighs, running a hand through her hair.

“I’m sorry. Hey, come here. Your pacing is freaking me out.” She tells him and opens her arms. Oliver huffs and settles down on the bed, his head falling against her stomach and his arms wrapping around her waist. Felicity smiles sadly and runs her fingers through his hair. “Why do you do these things, Oliver? You’re worth so much more than this.”

“You’re the only one left who seems to think so.” He sighs and Felicity shakes her head, tugging on her hair.

“I’m not, Oliver. Your parents, Thea, they all believe in you. Your friends as well. Tommy and the others.” She tells him and Oliver huffs, nuzzling his nose into her stomach.

“Maybe, but none of them get me like you do. Mom and Dad, they just want me to take over the company. I don’t think I’m cut out for that.” He mumbles and Felicity shakes her head.

“You definitely are, but if you don’t want to, then you just need to find something that inspires you. You need to stop hitting self-destruct Oliver. You’re allowed to have nice things.” She tells him and Oliver shrugs.

“I don’t know. Sometimes I just feel like you’re the only good thing that I’ve got going for me.” He squeezes her tightly and relaxes into the feeling of safety as she wraps herself around him.

“You’re worth so much more that you know, Oliver Queen.” She tells him and when she talks to him in that voice, Oliver thinks that maybe, just maybe, her words might be true.

 

* * *

 

 

“This is dumb.” Oliver groans as he leans back against the elevator of QC a few months later.

“Hey, your dad still believes in you. He’s proving that with this. You can give me two hours a week and I’ll be right there with you the whole time.” She promises, her hands grasping his arm and she leans her chin on his shoulder. He smiles down at her, dropping a kiss to her forehead.

“Because you’re too smart for your own good sometimes.” He smirks at her and Felicity gasps, mock-glaring at him.

“You’re lucky I love you.” She tells him and Oliver grins, raising his other hand to squeeze her arm.

“Love you too, Lissy.” He smirks and the elevator doors open with a ping, revealing the executive floor.

Oliver used to love this place. It used to feel so cool to go into work with his father. His dad used to give him soda and he’d get to sit in his father big office chair and pretend that he would rule over QC one day. The idea of that dream now is stifling. The glass walls feel like they’re closing in around him and the only thing grounding him right now is Felicity’s hand in his.

“You okay?” She asks him and Oliver gives her a small smile, nodding his head.

“The idea of all of this being my responsibility one day. Jesus Felicity, I can’t even hold onto a girlfriend for more than four months.” He sighs as he looks around the fancy offices.

“Well, it’s pretty hard to cheat on a company so that should be easy.” She quips and Oliver grins, letting her light spread over him. She has that effect, always sucking the tension out of a situation and replacing it with light and fun.

“You’re funny.” He deadpans and she giggles, nudging his shoulder with her own.

“Mr. Queen! Felicity!”

Robert’s elderly secretary, Mrs Jacobs, stands with a smile at the sight of them. Felicity grins and separates herself from Oliver to walk into the woman’s tight hug. “Mrs Jacobs, it’s so nice to see you.”

“You too, sweet girl. We’ve missed you around here since the summer. Are you coming back to intern soon?” The secretary smiles, her hands coming up to fiddle with Felicity’s hair. It always makes Felicity smile, it reminds her of her mother and her classic moves.

“I’d love to if Mr. Queen will have me.” She replies, smirking as she gets patted on the cheek.

“I’d be an idiot to turn you away.”

Felicity turns at Robert’s voice, her face lighting up at the compliment as a light blush spreads across her cheek.

“Mr. Queen!” She grins and moves to accept the hug he offers by opening his arms.

“Felicity, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Robert?” He asks, chuckling as he protectively cups the back of her head. He’s only grown fonder of his son’s best friend since that first time he found her in his office, rambling about his processor being out of date.

“One more time, Sir.” She smiles and Robert chuckles, turning to his son.

“Are you two ready to learn the ropes of this place?” Robert questions and Oliver shrugs. Felicity grins, bouncing a little on her heels as she nods. “Come on then.”

“I just wanted to thank you for letting me tag along, Mr. Queen. It truly means a lot.” Felicity comments as they follow the CEO into his office.

“Felicity, you and I both know I couldn’t have kept you away if I tried.” He smirks and Oliver barks out a laugh at Felicity’s confused expression. “Plus, it was the only way to ensure I’d get Oliver here. We both know that where you lead, he follows.”

Then it’s Felicity’s turn to laugh whilst Oliver freezes.

 

* * *

 

 

“I don’t want to do it.” Oliver huffs as he sits in Felicity’s bedroom. The tiny room in the one-bedroom apartment in the Glades is smaller than their pantry at Queen Mansion but somewhere that he’s started to consider to be home.

But that probably has more to do with the girl sat on the other end of the twin bed.

“Why not? You told your dad you wanted to go to college, I was there.” Felicity frowns as she pushes the pile of applications towards him.

“Yeah, because that’s what my dad wanted to hear. I’ve been enough of a disappointment to him over the years, Felicity. I can’t break his heart again.” He tells her and Felicity frowns.

“So, what’s the plan here, Oliver? Your dad’s going to realise pretty soon if you don’t go to college.” She tells him and Oliver sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“I don’t know, Lissy, you know I don’t like it when you logic me like that.” He tells her and a smile quirks at her lips as she shakes her head in exasperation at him.

“What’s this really about, Oliver?” She asks, levelling him with that no-nonsense look that always gets him talking.

“I mean, this whole pleasing my dad thing relies on me getting in. What if I’m not good enough to get in?” He asks quietly, looking down at his lap. He feels the bed dip and Felicity sidles up to him, her arms wrapping around him and her head laying on his shoulder.

“You know rich white boys with money like your family has can get into any college you want, right?” She whispers in his ear and Oliver huffs out a laugh, wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her into his lap.

“It’s not about that, Felicity. Is that the kind of guy I actually want to be?” He asks and Felicity smiles, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve barely passed high school _with_ your help, how am I gonna pass college?”

“You know, there’s this great thing they invented called telephones. I’m still going to be your friend, Oliver, no matter how many miles separate us. I’m going to be there for you.” She tells him and Oliver sighs, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist.   

“That’s not fair to you.”

“How many times is it going to take, Oliver? I’m starting to sound like a broken record. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. If this is what you want, you can do this.” She tells him and Oliver takes a deep breath. He pauses for a moment before he nods his head and Felicity smiles, reaching for the applications and a pen.

“You’re an angel.” He tells her later once they’ve completed the forms and Felicity is curled up against his chest, reclining on her tiny twin bed.

“Far from it, Oliver. I just love you.”

“I love you too, Lissy.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Felicity?”

“Hey, Tommy, what’s up?” Felicity asks as she strains her neck to better see out of her window. It’s the day her college acceptance letter from MIT should be arriving and she’s convinced every person walking past on the sidewalk is the postman.

“Listen, have you heard from Oliver?” He questions and Felicity stops looking, frowning as she pulls back to check her phone.

“No. He text me this morning when he woke up, but I haven’t heard from him since.” She tells him, remembering how the good luck message from Oliver she’d received that morning had made her smile.

“He’s gone completely off the grid. Apparently, he yelled at Thea and is sat outside, not talking to anyone.” Tommy tells her and Felicity sighs, looking down the road again. She bites her lip, thinking for a moment before she grabs her bag.

“I’m going there now.” She tells Tommy and hears his sigh of relief.

“Thanks, Lissy, you know he listens to you.” He tells her and Felicity frowns, reaching for her keys from the hook next to the door.

“Mom! I’m going to the mansion!” She yells and Donna appears in the hall, frowning at her.

“What do you mean? Baby, the postman hasn’t been yet.” Her mother tells her and Felicity frowns, feeling bad that her mom has managed to wrangle the day off to be here with her and now she’s bailing.

“Oliver needs me.” She replies simply and Donna sighs, gesturing towards the door. Felicity gives her mother a smile and rushes over to her to plant a kiss on her cheek before she hastily heads out the door.

Her rusty old car that she bought from saving up her shifts at the diner across town can’t go particularly quickly but Felicity pushes her to her limit, practically abandoning it in front of the mansion as she rushes inside.

Her ears are immediately overwhelmed by the sound of loud sobs and she follows the sound of Thea’s crying to the kitchen where the eight-year-old is wrapped up in her mother’s arms, sniffling loudly as she clings tightly to Moira. Robert is stood by the window, his eyes on the play set in the backyard and Felicity lets out a loud cough, drawing their attention to her.

“Lissy!” Thea cries and reaches out for the girl. Felicity smiles sadly and scoops Thea into her arms when Moira releases her, the child clinging to her front like a koala.

“Hey there Speedy, what’s wrong?” She asks softly, even though Tommy has already told her that Oliver yelled at his baby sister.

“Ollie… he ye-yelled at me!” Thea cries, hiccupping a little and Felicity frowns, holding Thea securely with one hand and wiping her tears away with the other. “I just wanted to know what was in his letter!”

Felicity frowns and looks over Thea’s shoulder to Moira who takes a deep breath. “His Stanford letter came. He hasn’t said but judging by the size of the packet, he got accepted. That doesn’t explain this behaviour.”

She gestures out of the window and Felicity realises that Robert had been staring at Oliver, sat on their spot on the platform before the slide. He’s far too large for the child’s play set now but he’s there, nonetheless, clutching the packet in his hands.

“I’ll go see if I can talk to him.” She tells the Queens and Robert smiles at her with a nod.

“Lissy no! He’ll just yell at you too! Ollie’s a meanie!” Thea pouts, clinging tightly to Felicity and the blonde sighs, extracting Thea from her arms and sitting her on top of the counter.

“Hey, you don’t mean that. Your brother loves you very, very much and I’m going to make sure that he says sorry and that he means it. He’s just a little stressed out at the moment because grown up things are happening, and he doesn’t like it.” Felicity explains and Thea sighs far too weightily for an eight-year-old before she relents.

“Okay, but we can have ice cream and watch Pocahontas later, right?” She asks and Felicity laughs, brushing some of Thea’s hair off of her face.

“That sounds like an excellent plan.” Felicity promises and Thea finally smiles, letting go of where her little hand had been clasping Felicity’s wrist. Felicity sends her one last smile and nods at Moira and Robert before she slips out of the French doors and makes her way over to the play set.

Climbing up onto the platform is a lot easier now than it was when she was seven and she kneels behind Oliver. He moves to the edge so that she has room but gives no other acknowledgment of her presence.

“Are you going to yell at me too or is it just eight-year-olds that are on your hit list today?” She asks as she eases down next to him. It’s a lot harder for the both of them to fit nowadays but they make it work, their legs pressed up together.

“Don’t Lissy, I already feel crappy about it.” He tells her and Felicity hums. His voice is heady and full of emotion and Felicity knows that he’s gotten far too in his head.

“I know and that’s why I’m not pressing it further.” She tells him and he finally looks at her, his face morphing into a frown.

“What are you doing here? Did your letter come already?” He asks and Felicity smiles, shaking her head.

“No, Tommy called me.” She explains and Oliver frowns, looking away from her and back over to the house.

“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to drop everything for me.” He mumbles and Felicity scoffs, shaking her head.

“As if you wouldn’t do the same thing.” She snaps and the edges of Oliver’s lips quirk. “Now, tell me why you’re out here moping when the size of that packet clearly indicates that you got accepted.”

“Felicity…” He says softly and she frowns, hitting him on the arm.

“Hey, we’re not like that. You talk to me, so talk to me.” She tells him seriously and Oliver takes a deep breath, looking at him. He holds her gaze for a minute before he deflates, his eyes drifting down to the packet in his hands.

“It’s just… everything’s about to change.” He says slowly, his eyes drifting over his name printed on the envelope.

“That’s what growing up is.” Felicity comments and Oliver chuckles, looking over at her with a raised eyebrow.

“That’s your attempt to make me feel better?” He asks and Felicity smiles, shrugging her shoulders.

“It got you to smile, didn’t it?” She asks and he smirks, shrugging back at her. She chuckles and moves impossibly closer, resting her chin on his shoulder and wrapping her hands around his arm. “Listen, just because things are going to change doesn’t mean that everything’s going to be different. We’re best friends, Oliver, that’s _never_ going to change.”

“You can’t know that, Felicity. You’re going to go to MIT, make a lot of friends far smarter than anyone in this town and forget about us all. I’m going to go to Stanford, probably flop out and disappoint my parents even further.” Oliver huffs and Felicity glares, grasping him by the chin and forcing his eyes onto hers.

“Oliver, we’re _not_ going to stop being friends just because we’re on different sides on the country and I am certainly not going to forget you. Not _ever._ You’re too far deep in here for that.” She smirks, pointing to her brain and Oliver smirks back, shaking his head.

“How is it that you always seem to know exactly the right thing to say?” He asks and Felicity shrugs, a smile pulling at her lips.

“It’s a talent.” She grins and Oliver barks out a laugh.

“It certainly is.”

He looks back to the packet in his hands as Felicity pulls away and she bumps his shoulder with her own. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I didn’t do anything. Like you said, rich white boys like me can get in anywhere.” He huffs and Felicity rolls her eyes.

“You put a lot of work into that application. It was _good._ ” She tells him and Oliver shrugs. He looks over at her and reaches out to tuck a stray curl behind her ear.

“They’re going to say yes. They’d be fools not to.” Oliver tells her and Felicity takes a deep breath as the nerves start fluttering her stomach again.

“We’ll see.” She replies nervously and Oliver rolls his eyes, wrapping his arm around her waist. She leans her head on his shoulder and he drops a kiss to the top of her head.

“You really think we’re going to stay this close?” He asks and Felicity squeezes his knee where her hand has dropped.

“We’re in each other’s bones, Queen.” She states and a grin spreads across Oliver’s face, making her pull back as she winces. “Not like _that!_ ”

Oliver laughs and tugs her close again, squeezing her side.

“Seriously though, it’s not going to be easy, Oliver, but if we work at this, we’ll be just as close as we’ve always been.” She tells him and Oliver smiles, dropping another kiss to the top of her head.

“Now that’s work I can get on board with.”

Felicity laughs and turns her head to smile up at him. Something sparks between them in the way that it has been for the past year or so but before anything comes of it, there’s a loud squeal from the French doors to the house.

Donna is stood there, waving a silver tube above her head and Felicity immediately knows that she’s made it. She gasps, hands flying to her mouth as tears spring to her eyes.

“Holy frack.”

Oliver swings down from the platform and it’s all Felicity can do to grasp his arms as he lifts her down as well. By the time he sets her carefully on the ground, Donna, as well as Oliver’s parents, Raisa and Thea have reached them, all of them grinning. Donna and Raisa are crying, and Felicity spots a tear sparkling in the corner of Robert’s eye.

“Open it!” Donna insists, thrusting the tube into Felicity’s hands and she grins, popping open the end of the tube. Red confetti spills out as she reaches in to pull out the letter itself. Her eyes scan over the paper and she gasps, her legs giving out from underneath her and she falls to the floor with tears now streaming down her face. She thrusts the letter into Oliver’s hands so that he can answer their families’ questioning looks.

 _“Dear Miss Smoak,”_ He reads, reaching down with his free hand, to clasp Felicity’s tightly. “ _On behalf of the Admissions Committee, I am delighted to offer you admission to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. In light of your highly competitive and passionate application, I am also delighted to inform you that we would like to offer you a full scholarship to cover your tuition fees for the time you will spend with us._ Oh my god, Lissy!”

He bends down and pulls Felicity off the ground. She throws herself into his arms, squeezing her tightly as her feet leave the floor. She laughs into his neck in a squeal as he plants a long kiss on her temple.

“I’m so proud of you.” He whispers in her ear before she pulls back, feet hitting the ground. She manages to flash him a bright grin before she’s tugged towards her mother and her screaming. Oliver smiles as he watches the Smoak women squeal and jump up and down.

His gaze drifts over to his baby sister who is watching him with a wary gaze. He offers her a tentative smile and opens up his arms. She stares at him for a moment before she rushes over to him, smiling as he swoops her into his arms.

“I’m so sorry I yelled at you, Speedy. It’s not okay and I want to make it up to you properly.” He tells her and Thea frowns, obviously thinking before a grin spreads across her face.

“I want a trip to the zoo and all the ice cream I can eat.” She tells him and Oliver nods seriously, smiling as her little arms wrap around his neck.

“I love you, Speedy.”

“I love you too, Ollie.” She smiles and leans her head against his. Oliver turns back to look at his best friend, unable to stop the wide grin that spreads across his face as he watches his father wrap Felicity in a hug.

Sure, everything’s changing, but Felicity’s right. They’re too far in now to let a few thousand miles come between them.

 

* * *

 

 

“I can’t believe I’m actually having to say goodbye to you.” Oliver frowns as he stands in the airport. He’s still in utter denial that this is something that’s happening. He hasn’t been separated from Felicity for more than three weeks since he was nine years old. Saying goodbye now seems like he’s having some sort of nightmare.

“We’ll keep in contact. You just have to look at your phone and answer it when I call.” She grins up at him, raising an eyebrow.

“And you’re sure you don’t want me to come with you? Help you set up and all? Lift your heavier boxes.” He offers for the millionth time and Felicity grins, shaking her head.

“For the 45th hundredth time, Oliver, no. I will be fine.” She tells him and Oliver sighs, biting his lip as he looks down at her. He reaches out and tugs on one of her curls.

“Alright well, call me when you land and if you need anything, I can be there in a few hours.” He promises and Felicity smiles at him, shaking her head.

“I know, you big numpty. I will call you when I land. Please don’t forget that you need to be packing for Stanford.” She reminds him and Oliver nods, waving her off.

“Tommy’s coming over to help later. He seems to think I’ll be too depressed to move from my bed because of you leaving.” Oliver scoffs and Felicity chuckles.

“Oliver, I really need to go.” She tells him as she looks at her watch, the one his father bought her for her fifteenth birthday, and Oliver hums, taking a deep breath.

“Come here.” He opens his arms and Felicity steps into his familiar embrace, her head resting against his chest. Oliver takes a deep breath and breathes in the scent of her shampoo and her perfume. She’s always felt the most like home to him and tears well up in his eyes at the idea of her being on the other side of the country. “You’re going to be so amazing. You’ve worked so hard for this, I’m so proud of you.”

“You’re gonna make me cry.” She whispers into his chest and Oliver chuckles as his own tears slide into her hair.

“I love you so much, Lissy. Don’t think that this means you’re ever going to escape me.” He tells her and her arms tighten around him. He feels his shirt grow wet and he plants a kiss into her bedhead curls.

“I love you so much. You’re the one thing I’ve struggled saying goodbye to.” She tells him and Oliver feels like something’s constricting around his heart as they pull apart. The tears are running down both their faces hard, but Oliver reaches out, wiping hers away with a forced smile.

“You’re going to be so amazing and one day, I’ll be able to proudly tell someone ‘you know Felicity Smoak, the tech mogul? That’s my best friend’.” He tells her and Felicity laughs through her tears. He’s glad he made her smile, but his words are some of the most honest he’s ever spoken.

“Tell Thea that I love her and that I’ll see her at Thanksgiving?” She asks and Oliver smiles, nodding his head. She lets out a long breath and looks at her watch. “I really do need to go. Wow, I didn’t think this would be this hard.”

“Hey, this isn’t goodbye.” He tells her and Felicity frowns, raising an eyebrow.

“No?”

“No. It’s an ‘I’ll see you later’.” He tells her and she grins, nodding her head as the tears start to fall again. “You got your passport?”

Felicity nods and he smiles, tugging her forward to plant one last kiss against her forehead.

“Go on. I love you.”

“I love you too. I’ll see you later.” She smiles and Oliver grins, wiping away tears of his own as she adjusts her bag on her shoulder.

He waves until she’s out of sight and stands there for another five minutes until he gathers the courage to turn around and head back to his car. It takes him another ten minutes for his eyes to clear enough so that he can drive home.

 

* * *

 

 

Felicity’s roommate is another early acceptant. She’s 17 and equally as excited to be so far away from home at such a young age. They spend hours talking about coding and the work they want to eventually do.

“It’s so nice to talk to people who actually understand it.” Erin grins from her spot at the end of Felicity’s bed and Felicity smiles back at her. The other girl is everything she’s wanted in a college roommate. She didn’t laugh at Felicity’s fandom posters and has her own on her walls, and they’ve agreed that they definitely need to have a ‘Lord of the Rings’ marathon before their workload gets to be too much.

“Totally. My best friend, he tries, and he’s infinitely patient when I talk to him about tech stuff, but he always just looks back at me with this blank expression. It’s kind of adorable actually.” Felicity laughs, shaking her head as she thinks of Oliver. Her heart is already aching at the miles that separate them.

“Him, huh?” Erin asks and Felicity laughs, rolling her eyes.

“Oliver and I aren’t like that. We’ve known each other since we were tiny.” She explains and Erin still sends her a look that has her laughing. She’s saved by her phone ringing loudly and she reaches over, smiling widely at Oliver’s picture looking up at her from the screen. “Hang on, this is him. I have to take this otherwise he’ll be here on the next plane.”

She laughs and grabs her phone. Scrambling off her bed, she deftly climbs out of the window and settles on the small ledge outside as she accepts the call.

“Oliver?”

“Sorry, is this Felicity Smoak, college girl?” His teasing voice sounds down the line and Felicity grins, rolling her eyes.

“Stop it.” She huffs and she hears his chuckle.

“So, is it everything you ever imagined?” He asks her with that teasing tone still evident in his voice, but Felicity knows that he’s being serious. He’s the one who has listened to her ramble about MIT since she was nine years old and she knows there’s no one prouder of her than Oliver is.

“It’s amazing. My roommate is so nice. We’ve got about an hour until dinner so I will update you on _that_ situation in a little bit.” She laughs and smiles at the sound of Oliver’s answering one.

“Remember if you’re unsure about anything, ask if there’s nuts. It’s better to be safe than sorry.” His tone is stern, and Felicity rolls her eyes. “You have your EpiPen, right?”

“Yes Oliver, I’m aware of my own allergy.” She snorts but cannot stop the smile that spreads across her face at his thoughtfulness. “Thank you.”

“I know you’re good at looking after yourself, Lissy, but I thought we agreed years ago that you’d let me help every now and then.” He tells her in that serious tone that always makes her feel a little strange in her stomach.

“I know I did, thank you. You’re sweet to remember.” She tells him softly, sighing as she leans back against the window frame.

“Oh, come on, we’re way past that. Listen, I don’t want to keep you. I just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you.” He tells her and she can tell he’s holding back from telling her that he misses her. She lets out a long sigh and bites her lip.

“MIT seems great so far, but I miss you already.” She tells him and she can hear his shocked little cough.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, you idiot.” She grins and hears his chuckle.

There’s a moment of silence before he speaks again.

“Lissy?”

“Yeah?”

“I miss you already too.”

“Felicity?”

She turns at the sound of her name to see Erin leaning out the window.

“Sorry, don’t mean to interrupt. A bunch of us are heading downstairs to get our bearings a little, did you want to come?” Erin asks and Felicity smiles with a nod.

“Yeah, just give me a minute?” She asks and Erin nods.

“Oliver, did you hear that?” She asks softly, worrying her lip between her teeth.

“Yeah, go have fun. I love you. I’ll call you later.” He promises and Felicity smiles.

“I love you too. Talk to you soon!” She calls and makes a kissing sound into the phone. She waits for him to return it before she hangs up, climbing back into the room.

 

* * *

 

 

Oliver feels like he’s just settled into Stanford.

He hates his classes. They don’t make any sense and they’re all far too early in the morning, so he’s been pretty bad at going to them. He is taking a rare night off from partying tonight though and is playing videogames with some of the boys he’s made tentative friends with.

They’re halfway through a mission when his phone starts ringing.

“Unless it’s your parents, ignore.” One of the boys tells him and Oliver glares but he can’t help but smile when he sees Felicity’s name looking up at him from the screen.

“Sorry boys, gotta take this.” He tells them and rolls his eyes as they make fun of him for being whipped by a girl he’s not even banging.

“Oliver! Ol-i-ver. Have you ever thought about how your name sounds strange? Ol-i-ver.” Felicity’s voice is obviously spacey, and she giggles loudly after she finishes her statement. Oliver immediately frowns, Felicity’s not one for partying, alcohol or drugs. She’s partial to wine every now and then but even at their wildest high school parties, Oliver’s only seen her drunk maybe twice.

“Felicity? Are you alright? Where are you?” He asks, moving into a quieter section of the apartment. He frowns as he tries to discern the loud background of the call but the only conclusion that he comes to is that she’s at a party.

“Out. I went out, Oliver. Are you proud of me?” She giggles and Oliver sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“Felicity, is there someone with you? Someone sober?” He asks and he can practically hear her frown as she hums.

“Dunno. Erin looks kinda sober. Did I ever tell you that you’re pretty? You’re pretty, Oliver, like people say men aren’t pretty but you are.” She slurs and Oliver frowns.

“Felicity, can you give the phone to Erin?” He asks softly and closes his eyes at her huff.

“You can’t sleep with her, Oliver, she’s on the other side of the country to you!” Felicity tells him and he can’t help but smile, shaking his head.

“I know that, sweetheart, just please give her the phone.” He whines, the endearment slipping out before he really knows he’s said it.

“Fine.” She huffs loudly and Oliver waits patiently as she hands the phone over. He supposes this is all pretty harmless. She’s coherent enough to call him and he’s certainly been in worse states in his life, but he’ll feel better once he knows she’s got someone sober enough to look after her.

“Hello?” A very confused female voice that is definitely not Felicity’s speaks and Oliver heaves a sigh of relief at how clear her voice is.

“Hi, my name’s Oliver, I’m Felicity’s friend from home.” He explains, hoping that this girl doesn’t think he’s completely crazy.

“Hi, Oliver. I’m Erin.” She replies and whilst she’s obviously confused, there’s also an amusement to her voice.

“Listen, you probably know this but Felicity’s only sixteen and she’s not really had much experience with alcohol. I just… I worry about her and she said that you looked sober…” He trails off. Erin chuckles and Oliver breathes in, hoping he’s not about to get yelled at.

“Well at least when she’s smashed off her face, she knows what a sober person looks like. Your girl’s right, I don’t drink. Sober as a nun, I swear. I’ll make sure your girl gets home safe.” Erin tells him and Oliver breathes a sigh of relief.

“Thank you so much.” He tells her honestly and he hears her chuckle again.

“She’s lucky to have someone like you looking out for her, Oliver.” Erin tells him and Oliver shrugs before realising that she can’t see him.

“Yeah, well, she’s my best friend. I kind of feel…”

“Felicity! No! Don’t!”

Erin’s panicked voice interrupts his explanation and Oliver frowns, jumping up from his seat in panic.

“What’s happening?” He asks, practically yelling down the phone but all he can hear is Erin’s voice as she yells herself.

“Are you an idiot? She’s sixteen years old, why would you give her one of those?”

Oliver’s panic levels have risen to overwhelming levels as he tries not to think about what ‘one of those’ is. Has she been roofied? Did someone give her drugs?

“Oh! This is yummy! Wait, are those… nuts?” Felicity’s drunken lilt carries through the line and Oliver freezes. She’s eaten something, an edible probably judging by Erin’s panicked reaction to it. Nuts. Crap, her allergies.

“Erin! Erin!” He yells and finally the girl yells back to know that she’s listening. “She’s severely allergic to nuts, there should be an EpiPen in her pocket. She never goes anywhere without one!”

“Got it, I’m on it!” The girl yells back and Oliver moves quickly as he listens to Felicity moan about being stabbed but luckily, he hears Erin get the drugs into her system.

He moves towards the room and demands one of the boys gives him their phone, quickly calling his dad. He begs him for the jet, which he readily sends when Oliver explains that Felicity’s in trouble, and Oliver heaves a sigh of relief when Erin starts calling his name.

“She wants to talk to you. I’m calling an ambulance.” Erin explains and Oliver hums, hearing the phone be moved again.

“Ol…ver?” Felicity slurs and Oliver winces, heading to his room to throw some clothes into a duffel.

“Hey there, sweetheart. How’re you feeling?” He asks softly, not noticing as the endearment spills out for a second time.

“Not good.” She replies and Oliver winces, rushing towards the door so that he can head over to the airfield.

“I bet, but hey, Erin’s going to get you to the hospital so that they can check you out, alright? By the time you wake up, I’ll be there with you.” He promises, slamming the door to his car and almost forgetting his seatbelt in his haste.

“No, no, you have school.” She groans and Oliver huffs, rolling his eyes.

“As if, Felicity. I’m coming. I’ll be there as soon as I can, okay? You need to get to the hospital. I have no idea how pot reacts with epinephrine.” He tells her and hears her loud gasp.

“There was pot in that brownie?” She asks loudly and Oliver cannot help the smile that spreads across his face despite everything. Always making him feel better, even when she almost died of an allergic reaction.

They don’t get to speak much more. Oliver has to concentrate on driving and the ambulance arrives quickly, carting her away to get both the nuts and the pot out of her system. By the time Oliver makes it to Cambridge, she’s sat up in a hospital bed. She smiles and accepts his tight hug when he walks in, claiming that she is never _ever_ touching drugs again in her life.

Oliver agrees that it’s a very good idea, both for her health and his state of mind.

(He stays in Cambridge for a week and they spend most of that time curled up together, wondering why they ever separated in the first place. Their goodbye is almost harder than the first time.)

 

* * *

 

 

Felicity winces as the loud sound of her phone ringing cuts through the heavy silence of the library. Many pairs of eyes turn to glare at her and she winces, scooping up her phone and rushing out into the stairwell.

“Hello?” She hisses into the device as she settles on the stairs, squeezing herself to the side so that she’s not in the way.

“Lissy!” Oliver’s loud voice carries down the line and Felicity winces, holding the phone away from her ear.

“Oliver, are you drunk?” She asks, recognising the slurring in his words and the dopiness that tends to only come out when he’s inebriated.

“Maaaayyybe.” He slurs and Felicity sighs, running a hand over her face. She checks the time and winces.

“Oliver, it’s three in the afternoon.” She tells him but that doesn’t seem to mean anything to him.

“So, it is! You’re so smart, Lissy, and pretty. Do you remember when we met, do you Lissy?” He asks and Felicity sighs. “Do you?”

“Yes, Oliver, I remember.” She tells him shortly, shaking her head in exasperation.

“I thought you looked like a princess. Did I ever tell you that?” He slurs and Felicity gasps, reminding herself that what he says whilst he’s smashed off of his head does _not_ count.

“No, you didn’t.” She whispers softly before she takes a deep breath. “Oliver, why are you drunk at three o’clock in the afternoon?”

“Isn’t that what college dropouts do? It’s certainly what people with no lives or futures do and that’s where I’m headed.” Oliver’s voice is heavy and suddenly serious. Felicity jumps at his words, completely surprised. The last time she’d spoken to him, he said his classes had been going well.

“You dropped out?” She asks incredulously, frowning deeply.

“Technically, I got kicked out. That’s what happens apparently when you don’t go to class or your finals.” He slurs with a chuckle and Felicity sighs, running a hand through her hair.

“Oliver, you told me that your classes were going well. What happened?” She asks softly, leaning her head against the bannister of the stairs as she tries to wrap her head around what’s happening.

“I lied. I didn’t want you to worry.” His voice is calmer and Felicity huffs as she shakes her head.

“ _Oliver…”_

“I know, Lissy, I know, just please don’t use that tone with me.” He whines and Felicity sighs, having never been able to resist that tone of voice from him.

“What are you going to do now?” She asks with a long sigh and she hears a similar one from Oliver.

“Like you said, rich white boys like me can go anywhere. I’m sure Dad can get me in somewhere.” He tells her and Felicity resists the urge to growl. She’s never doubted Oliver’s abilities but when he gives in to use his privilege instead of working hard, it does infuriate her. Especially when she’s working so hard to maintain her scholarship, work towards an early graduation and working as many shifts as she can to cover her living costs.

“Well I’m glad that’s the realisation you’ve come to.” She bites sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Frack, he’s a real douchebag sometimes.

“Lissy…” He groans and Felicity takes a deep breath, calming her anger.

“Drink some water, Oliver, and take a nap. Call me when you wake up and you’re being less of a douchebag.” She tells him frankly and hears Oliver’s low groan.

“I’m sorry, Lissy.” He tells her and she shakes her head, worrying her bottom lip.

“I know, Oliver. I just hate watching you sabotage yourself.” She tells him and hears his lofty sigh. “Water and sleep. Call me when you wake up.”

“I will do.” He tells her and she nods, taking a relieving breath. “I love you, Lissy.”

“I love you too, Oliver.” She replies and the line goes dead. She lets her phone drop to her lap and leans her head against the stairs with a long groan. “Even when you’re being the biggest of douchebags.”

Someone walking past her sends her a strange look and Felicity blushes, collecting herself before she heads back into the library with a heavier heart than when she’d stepped out.

 

* * *

 

 

For all her trying, Felicity can’t seem to get Oliver off this path of destruction. In the three years it takes her to get her undergraduate and master’s degrees, Oliver bounces around four different colleges. He drinks his way through them all, barely attending class and missing tests and finals.

She’s a semester away from graduating when Oliver’s misdemeanours land him at Harvard and therefore in the same city. He’s elated but, as glad as Felicity is to see her best friend more, she really can’t take the distraction right now.

More often than not, she’ll come home from a night spent in the library to see Oliver passed out on her couch or eating his way through her supply of cereal in her kitchen. He’ll give her that guilty smile and tug her into his lap. Exhausted from working, Felicity ignores the smell of alcohol and, more often than not, vomit, and settles into the arms that feel like home. She gives him the same lecture every time, but nothing ever seems to compute, and Oliver continues on his self-driven road off the edge.

Felicity pushes through and gets her distinction, making everyone back home so proud. Robert flies them all out for the graduation and Felicity flushes bright red when she walks across the stage to the loudest cheers of her entire cohort.

Once the ceremony’s over, Felicity is swept up by them all. Her mother is sobbing and can’t stop stroking Felicity’s hair. Raisa keeps gazing at her with that proud parent look and even Moira seems to have a smile painted on her face. Robert, however, is the one that makes her cry.

“I always knew you were going to soar kiddo, ever since I found you in my office. I’m so proud of you.” He whispers as he wraps her in a hug and Felicity smiles a watery smile up at him when they pull away.

“Thank you, for everything. I wouldn’t be here without you.” She tells him honestly and Robert smiles at her with that paternal look in his eye that always makes Felicity emotional.

Her emotions do a 180 as she’s suddenly plucked from the floor and hoisted into the air. Two shoulders settle underneath her, and Felicity laughs loudly as she looks down to see Oliver and Tommy.

_“FOR SHE’S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW, FOR SHE’S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW, FOR SHE’S A JOLLY GOOD FELLLLLOOOOOW… AND SO SAY ALL OF US!”_

Felicity laughs loudly, squealing as she feels like she’s going to fly off their shoulders. Oliver’s hand rises to settle her by holding her waist and she grins down at him, holding onto his hair for support.

“Smoak!” Tommy grins and lifts her down, squeezing her tightly. Felicity laughs at the boy who started as her friend by association but now is probably her closest friend beside Oliver. “So proud of you! Always were so smart!”

“Thanks Tommy.” Felicity giggles as she pulls away. She’s quickly turned by a hand on her arm and then her face is smushed into Oliver’s familiar chest.

“Congratulations Lissy.” He whispers in her ear and Felicity hugs him tightly. For the first time in months, she feels like Oliver is the boy she’s been friends with for years rather than the alcoholic pressing self-destruct on his own life.

They pull away and Felicity grins up at him. She blushes as his hands come up to frame her face and it only deepens when he leans in to kiss her cheek. He moves to whisper in her ear and she’s sure she’s the same colour as her red graduation robe.

“You look beautiful.”

Robert takes them to one of the swankiest restaurants in the city and sneaks Felicity a few drinks, claiming that she shouldn’t miss out on experiencing a normal graduation celebration because of her brilliance. They share a lovely dinner and with her family around her, Felicity feels like she’s finally fulfilled.

Their parents leave after dinner, heading back to the hotel once Felicity has been doused in upwards of a thousand hugs from them all. She’s thoroughly covered in her mother’s lipstick and Oliver laughs once they’re left alone outside her apartment block, pulling out a tissue to clean her of the substance.

“There. You’re perfect again.” He tells her once he’s finished and Felicity flushes again, smiling up at him. They’ve both been loosened by the alcohol and they’re clinging to each other, hands interlinked.

“What do you crazy kids say we hit up the clubs? I got Smoak a little graduation gift.” Tommy smiles, pulling a fake ID out of his pocket. Oliver cheers but Felicity winces, biting her lip.

“I don’t know. I was just going to go home and eat some ice cream, maybe watch some Doctor Who.” She tells them and Tommy boos, but Oliver just smiles at her.

“That sounds fun too.” He tells her and Felicity smiles, shaking her head.

“It’s okay, you guys go out. Have some fun for me.” She tells them and they both frown.

“You sure, Smoak?” Tommy asks, wiggling the card in front of her face. Felicity laughs and nods her head.

“Go, have fun. Clubs aren’t really my scene.” She tells him and Tommy shrugs, pocketing the ID.

“Your loss, Smoak. Enjoy your TV show.”

Oliver, however, is far less non-chalant and turns to face her with a frown. “I’m up for Doctor Who and ice cream.”

“I know but you want to go out with Tommy.” She tells him and smiles reassuringly, reaching up to stroke her hand over his cheek. She’s boldened by the alcohol and the way Oliver leans into her touch makes her smile. “Go out, have fun. I’ll have some fun too and then you can come back here and crash. Okay?”

Oliver frowns for another second but when Felicity reaches up with her other hand so that she’s holding his face and uses her grip to nod his head up and down, he laughs and relents.

“Alright, I won’t be long, okay?” He tells her and Felicity smiles, standing on her toes to hug him tightly.

“Good, I need my cuddle partner.”

Neither of them know whether it’s the alcohol but Oliver lets out a low groan. It takes them another five minutes to say goodbye but finally Tommy drags Oliver off, leaving Felicity in peace to enjoy her moment to herself. She changes into shorts and Oliver’s ratty old hoodie he left there the last time he stayed and keeps the volume low so that she’ll hear when Oliver gets back.

Hours later, she’s awoken by the sound of something smashing and she blearily works out that she’s on her couch, an old episode of Doctor Who playing on the TV.

“Oh no! I woke you!” Oliver tells her, his voice in what she supposes he thinks is a whisper but he’s really kind of shouting. She groans and wipes her hand over her face, looking down at her phone to see that it’s almost three in the morning.

“Yeah, you did. It’s okay, I shouldn’t have been sleeping on the couch.” She replies, smiling reassuringly at her. He looks at her kind of nervously. She’s lectured him every other time he’s ended up at this apartment drunk, but she doesn’t really have a leg to stand on tonight, she told him to go. “Come on, we should go to bed.”

Felicity is standing up and going to make towards the bedroom when she’s stopped by a high shrill laugh from Oliver.

“What?” She asks as she turns around and he’s just staring at her. His eyes are wide and there’s an unreadable expression on his face.

“Go to bed? Together?” He asks before he giggles behind his hand like a child and Felicity rolls her eyes, reaching out to grasp his hand.

“Yes, you juvenile. We’ve shared a bed since we were kids. You know that.” She reminds him and tugs him towards the bedroom.

“Yeah, well, that was before I realised that I’m in love with you.”

There, in the middle of her tiny college apartment hallway, Felicity freezes. Her hand drops from Oliver’s and she turns to look at him, feeling like she’s just been doused with a bucket of ice-cold water.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

Her voice is slow and calculating, suddenly like she’s looking at Oliver in a different light. It’s not that she’s never contemplated it. Oliver is _ridiculously_ gorgeous, and she’s found herself pushing down feelings of attraction more times than she can count but that’s just it. She’s always forced herself _not_ to think like that because she was so sure that Oliver sees her in a familial light. Like his sister, just his best friend. She had no idea that he would ever or even _could_ ever think of her the same way she forces herself to stop thinking of him.

“Oops! Sober Oliver’s gonna kill me for that!” Oliver giggles away, still in the childlike wonder but Felicity doesn’t have time for his drunken games. This may be a joke to his inebriated mind, but this is serious for her.

“ _Oliver…”_ She pushes and he looks up at her, his eyes growing serious as he looks at her. “Is that true?”

“Well yeah, how could I not be in love with you? You’re _Felicity.”_ He states as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world and before Felicity can even really register what’s happening, he’s stepping forward to clasp her face in his hands and slant his lips over her own.

The kiss is gentle but full of purpose; respectful but also full of passion. Felicity feels like she can feel all his unspoken words passing between the two of them. Her hand moves to cup his elbows as the edges of her lips curl into a smile against his. She lets out a soft contented hum and that triggers something in Oliver. There’s a soft growl that she swallows, and one hand drops from her face. Felicity misses the warmth for a second before his arm wraps around her waist, pulling her body flush against his. Felicity gasps at the feeling of his hard chest and Oliver takes advantage of her parted lips, both of his descending on her bottom one. He nips at it with his teeth, making Felicity groan, and his hand slips down, sliding over her ass.

The caress brings Felicity down off of her high and she pulls away, trying to control her heavy breathing.

“Oliver… stop.” She tells him breathily, pushing him away with hands on his chest. Oliver frowns at her and his hands move to clasp hers, squeezing them tightly.

“Was that not okay?” He asks with a frown, the alcohol obviously still dictating his ability to mask his emotions.

“No, it was… more than okay.” Felicity breathes heavily, unable to shove the feeling of his lips sliding against hers gloriously. “It’s just… you’re drunk, Oliver. This isn’t how we should do things.”

The hurt expression passes across his face before he sighs, his shoulders slumping. The whole image makes him look rather forlorn, but he nods his head slowly, forcing a smile onto his face when he looks back up at her. “You’re right. You deserve better than that.”

“Hey, _we_ deserve better than that.” She tells him, ditching his hand to cup his face so that he’s aware that she doesn’t regret what just happened. “Let’s get some sleep and we’ll talk about it in the morning, okay?”

Oliver nods and Felicity smiles, taking him by the hands and leading him back to her bedroom. They quickly settle in the bed, her curled up next to him and the last thing she’s aware of is a soft kiss being placed to her forehead with far more care than an inebriated person should be able to control.

 

* * *

 

 

The other side of the bed is cold when Felicity wakes and she panics for a moment before she gets a hold of her senses and the smell of Oliver’s famous pancakes drifts into her nostrils.

She blushes when the events of the early morning come rushing back and her fingers rise to her lips, tracing over them as she remembers the feeling of Oliver’s lips against them. Despite her embarrassment, she can’t stop the smile that spreads across her face as she considers what this might mean.

“Morning.”

Her head flies up at the sound of the familiar voice and Felicity’s breath leaves her throat as she takes in the image of Oliver leaning against the door frame of her room. He’s dressed only in his pants from last night, his arms crossed over his bare chest and a smirk on his face, watching her with a playful expression in his eyes. Felicity flushes bright red and bites her lip, forcing herself to ignore the way Oliver’s eyes zero in on it.

“Good morning.” She finally manages to breathe out and he smiles at her, jerking his head towards the rest of the apartment.

“Breakfast’s on the table.” He tells her and Felicity nods, standing up off the bed and adjusting her tiny sleep shorts before she heads over to him. He makes no move to get out of the way and she looks at him with a discerning look, but he merely smiles, holding out one of his hands. “We’re going to talk this morning?”

The implication makes Felicity flush again, forcing herself to resist the urge to look away. “After breakfast.” She promises softly and Oliver nods, his smile softening as he gazes at her.

“After breakfast.” He repeats and Felicity can only nod, sliding her hand into his and letting him drag her through to her tiny table in the corner of her tiny kitchen.

The table, despite its tiny size, actually looks beautiful. The large stacks of pancakes and syrup with berries and cream are appealing enough but there’s also coffee and one of Felicity’s glasses with a small bit of water and a couple of the pink flowers that are growing on her balcony.

“My goodness, you went full out.” She smiles as she settles into a seat across from Oliver and he shrugs with a smile.

“I felt bad after leaving you alone last night.” He says sheepishly and Felicity shakes her head.

“I told you it’s fine. I dealt with nights by myself before you came to Cambridge and I’ll need to get used to them again when I’m in Gotham.” She tells him with a smile as she pours coffee and creamer into her mug.

“Well, turns out I’m going to have some more time on my hands so maybe I’ll be able to visit more?” He suggests casually but Felicity frowns as his words compute.

“Oliver? What exactly does that mean?” She asks softly, raising an eyebrow and watching the way he deflates. She can see him struggling to find the words and his expression is heartbroken when he looks up at her.

“I flunked out again.”

His voice is small and quiet as he admits it. He’s obviously ashamed, about what, Felicity can’t seem to figure out. Does he actually care that he’s been kicked out of his fourth consecutive Ivy League college or is he just ashamed to admit it to her? History would show the latter and she sighs heavily, running a hand through her hair.

“You flunked out or you just didn’t try? Again?” She asks seriously, looking at him with a tilted head and a stern expression.

“Felicity…” He sighs and Felicity feels the anger rising in her as she looks at him. Sat there in his privilege, not at all as devastated as he should be over this. In fact, he looks more perturbed at the fact that he’s being lectured.

“No Oliver. Do you realise how lucky you are? What the world has handed to you on a silver platter?” She presses, trying very hard to control the volume of her voice.

“Of course, I do!” He yells, his eyes flying up to look at her and the anger swimming in them only angers her further.

“Then act like it!” She bites back, completely in shock at this turn of events. They don’t do this, they’re not like this. What on earth is happening?

“I don’t want to do this! I don’t want to be here!” He yells, standing up from his seat and turning in a circle. He looks as lost as she supposes he probably feels and she takes a deep breath, forcing herself to be reasonable.

“Oliver, why do you keep doing what they tell you to when it makes you so miserable?” She asks softly and he looks up at her again, his confusion and heartbreak written all over his face. He takes a deep breath of his own and flops back into the chair, his head falling into his hands.

“I… I don’t know.” He says quietly and Felicity melts, closing her eyes for a second. She stands and makes her way over to him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Maybe you should figure that out.” She says softly, without judgement and the tears swimming in his eyes when he meets hers again makes her heartbreak. He tugs on her hand and pulls her onto his lap. She lets out a long sigh as he wraps himself around her and she drops her cheek to the top of his head, cuddling into him.

He’s quiet for a second, revelling in their closeness before he takes a deep breath, pulling back so that he can look up at her. The reverence in his eyes gives her pause for a moment and then he begins to speak.

“I’ve been thinking about that a lot. I don’t know who I am anymore, let alone who I want to be. I think I need to go back to where it all makes sense so that maybe, I can figure it all out.” He tells her and Felicity nods, running her fingers through his long hair. She wishes he’d cut it, get rid of the damn surfer look he seems determined to sport.

“That makes sense, you’re going back to Starling?” She asks and he nods, pausing for another long moment before he speaks again.

“Yeah, and I thought that maybe… you might come with me?” His voice is soft and pleading but that doesn’t undercut the knife it cuts through the conversation. She freezes, her hand stilling in his hair.

“I’m sorry, pardon?” She coughs in shock, looking down at him sharply.

“Come to Starling with me. Dad can set you up at the company, he’ll double you anything Wayne’s offering. You know that.” His gaze on hers is gentle but Felicity just feels like her blood has run cold. She pushes off of his chest, batting his hands away as he reaches for her and stands, her feet moving of their own volition as she begins to pace in front of him.

 “Oliver Queen, you are unbelievable.” She rounds on him, her gaze heavy and her eyes narrowing. He finally freezes, frowning at her in obvious confusion and the fact that he can’t see what’s wrong with his request only makes Felicity madder.

“What? Felicity, I need you. You’re the only thing that makes sense anymore. You’re my guiding light.” He tells her, reaching out towards her but Felicity darts away from his hands, shaking her head.

“That’s a real nice sentiment Oliver but please, take me down off that pedestal and contemplate that I have my own life and my own choices to make away from helping you undo all the self-destruction you’ve inflicted on yourself.” She whirls around on him, her mouth somehow saying the words before her brain really thinks them through. She knows at any other time the hurt expression that crosses his face would make her stop and apologise but as what he’s truly asking of her fully computes, she only finds herself frustrated and angry.

“Alright, wow, I just thought it might be nice to be back in Starling, just like old times.” Oliver huffs, flopping back in the chair and shrugging his shoulders. He looks like a classic trust fund baby right now and Felicity shakes her head, still pacing as she keeps talking.

“That’s your issue, Oliver. You’re so scared of growing up that you haven’t even realised that everyone’s already left you behind. We can’t go back to old times; we have to make the new ones work for us.” She presses, looking at him but it seems that she’s sparked something in him as well because he sits up again, his hands flying up to illustrate his point.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were suddenly the expert on adult life! You’ve only been an adult for a year!” He bites back, gesturing towards her and Felicity huffs, shaking her head.

“And somehow, I’m doing a much better job of it than you! Wake up, Oliver, the world’s moving on. You need to figure out where you want to be in it.” She tells him, her voice quietening towards the end of her statement, her expression softening for a moment.

“That’s what I’m trying to do. Sorry for wanting my best friend there whilst I do it.” He tells her softly, rolling his eyes a little defensively and Felicity shakes her head, drawing in a sharp breath.

“We’re not kids anymore, Oliver. I can’t drop everything in a split-second and come help you figure out where your place is in the world. I have a job to go to and a career to start. You have to do your soul-searching on your own and hopefully, it’ll make you a little less selfish.” She keeps her voice quiet, forcing herself to try and stay calm in the hope that her words might finally compute in his brain. They seem to have the opposite effect on him however, and he sits up straight, his voice rising as he bites back.

“Selfish? You’re the one who’s moving to a city away from all your friends and family to ‘better your job prospects’. You have a job waiting for you in Starling, you have since you were seven years old! You’re just scared that coming home will mean that you haven’t accomplished anything!”

_Wow._

“I… Get out.”

“What?” He frowns at her, looking between the door she’s gesturing to and her face.

“Get out of my apartment.” She states simply and he sighs heavily, moving towards her.

“Felicity…” He says in that soft, apologetic manner that normally has her melting, but she staves him off with a hand on his chest and a stern expression.

“No. How dare you? _I_ haven’t accomplished anything? I worked my butt off for that scholarship _on my own,_ I pushed through six year’s worth of degrees in half that time _on my own,_ and now I’m going to build a career _on my own._ I am not the one who hasn’t accomplished anything. I am not the one who can’t get their mind out of the past, Oliver. I am sorry that my wanting to build a name for myself outside of being Robert Queen’s little charity project is inconveniencing your inability to realise that you need to sort your life out. But do not stand in the apartment you have come back to, too drunk to talk more times than I can count when you don’t even live here, and tell me that I am the selfish one. So yeah Oliver, get out. I can’t do this anymore.”

She’s practically sobbing by the time that she’s finished and she’s definitely shaking, completely unable to believe that Oliver could ever speak to her the way he just has. Oliver, who’s always been her biggest advocate, her most enthusiastic cheerleader, the person she could always count on to build her up. She feels like she doesn’t know the man standing in front of her anymore, even though his expression is the same heartbroken one she’s seen a thousand times. He heads towards the door, stopping when he reaches it and looks back at her. She knows she looks a state, standing there in his hoodie, shaking with her hands wrapped around herself. She can’t look at the heartbroken look on his face.

“Felicity…” He tries one last time, but she takes in a shaky breath, shaking her head.

“Go.” She whispers, more mouths than speaks, and the sound of the door slamming echoes around the silent apartment. She lets out a loud sob and sinks to the floor, wrapping her arms around herself and wondering how on earth they ever got to this place.

 

* * *

 

 

Felicity goes to Gotham.

She has the worst year of her life.

The work is fine. She’s liked in the office and her boss is impressed with her work, placing her in Bruce Wayne’s eyeline. The CEO often requests her to fix his computer issues and she finds herself gaining a good reputation within his company.

She is, however, miserable.

She tries to avoid the news.

She grows far too sick of seeing image after image of Oliver partying. Reports of him assaulting police officers, urinating on police vehicles and punching paparazzi grow tedious and only hurt her further. Her mother and the Queens beg her to call him when she speaks to them, but she’s determined that she will not be the one to reach out. She has nothing more to say to him. He’s the one who needs to apologise and he’s the one who needs to sort himself out before they can make a move towards growing together. Judging by the few glimpses she sees, he’s obviously not making any attempt to do so.

Her year only gets worse about halfway through. A friend from the office, who she’s been getting to know outside of work completely betrays her. Cooper seemed nice and interested in _her_ interest in hacking. He helped her with some coding and Felicity finally completed a code that could break through any firewall, given the chance. She wasn’t planning on using it and she certainly wasn’t expecting to see her own code looking back up at her when she’s called up to the CEO’s office to try and get to the bottom of their destroyed IT system and draining corporate bank accounts. Cooper had stolen her code and used it to take down Wayne Enterprises, breaking her heart all over again. Two friends gone in one year. Felicity thinks she might just be destined to be alone.

A few months later, she’s relaxing at home after a long day when her phone rings. It’s Moira and Felicity smiles, bringing the phone to her ear.

“Good evening Moira, how are you?” She asks softly, her wine glass secure in her hand and she eases her feet onto the coffee table in front of her.

“Oh, well enough, dear. How are you? How’s work?” Moira asks and the two women exchange pleasantries for a while. Once they’ve covered all their usual topics, Felicity takes a deep breath and bites her lip, quietly giving in and leaving her pride behind for a moment.

“How’s Oliver?” She asks quietly, gently picking at a loose thread on her pyjama pants.

“Oh!” She can tell that the question’s startled Moira. Felicity is never the one to ask, the adults generally tell her about him but this is the first time she’s asked. “Yes, he’s good. Actually, Robert’s managed to convince him to go to China with him on a business trip next week. We’re hoping it might inspire him to take a little more responsibility at the company.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Felicity replies, unsure of what to say. She hopes that Oliver is indeed starting to clear up his act. She misses her best friend. The last year has been hellish and she knows that the majority of it is due to not having him to lean on.

She doesn’t think much else of it until a week later. She wakes up to a missed call from Oliver and a voicemail from him. It takes her ten minutes to work up the courage to listen to it and she places the phone on speaker, curling into a ball on her bed as she hears his voice for the first time in over a year.

 “Felicity… god, it feels good to say your name. I… I don’t really know how to say this. It’s kind of incredible to think that we’ve gotten to a place where I don’t know how to talk to you. We were never like that… I hate that we are now… God Felicity, I miss you so much… I’m so sorry. I had no right to speak to you the way that I did that morning. I was being an absolute dick and I was so scared of losing you that I somehow fucked it up even more. I didn’t mean any of it, none of it was true. You’re the best part of me, you have been since I was nine years old… The trouble is, somewhere along the way, I fell completely in love with you and I didn’t realise until I was in far too deep to stop it… That’s not the problem, you’re easy to fall in love with. The problem is that you deserve far better than me. Someone that can keep up with you, that can help you soar rather than hold you back like I would… I’m going to try though, Lissy. Maybe this trip with Dad will help me figure some stuff out because I want to be better. Finally, I really do. Hopefully, sometime soon, I’ll be the man you’ve always believed I could be, rather than the douchebag I’ve made myself into…. I should go, Dad wants to talk over some stuff and I’m probably going to lose signal soon. I’ll text you when we get to China and maybe then we could talk? You deserve a better apology than this rambling. Alright, I’m going to go, just… I love you. So much, Lissy. The last year has been the worst without you. I miss everything about you. Your beautiful face and your beautiful heart. I just… I want you to know that. I love you. Bye, Felicity.”

Felicity is sobbing by the time the phone beeps to signal the end of the voicemail. Her beautiful, wonderful Oliver. _This_ is the man she fell in love with so long ago. It’s bittersweet, hearing his voice and knowing she probably won’t be able to talk to him for a week or so but the promise of a new future for the two of them is enough for the moment.

She plays it four times over. She loses her breath every time she hears him tell her that he loves her and she sobs a little when he calls her beautiful. This apology, it’s everything she’s wanted from Oliver in a year, but it’s also heartbreaking to hear his self-deprecation and pessimism. She just wants him to know that she loves him too and that she’s more than happy to try and move towards a new future. One that hopefully includes both of them, together.

Her sorrow is interrupted by the sound of loud knocking on her door and a familiar voice calling her name. Unable to place it, Felicity frowns and rushes towards it, pulling it open to reveal Tommy. He looks worse than she’s ever seen him. His hair is a mess and he’s obviously been crying heavily, his eyes rimmed with red and his clothes completely wrinkled on his body. He looks her up and down and she frowns, regarding him with an inquisitive look.

“Do you know?” He questions, obviously taking in her messy appearance and matching red rimmed eyes. Felicity frowns and shakes her head.

“Tommy, what’s going on?” She asks but Tommy pushes inside the apartment as if he’s physically unable to stand still any longer and tugs her over to the couch. He makes sure that she’s sat down before he turns on the TV and switches it to a news channel.

Felicity freezes as she looks at the images of the Gambit and both Robert and Oliver on the screen. She reads the words of the headline but doesn’t fully take them in. Her ears hear the words that the reporter is speaking but she can’t compute them. She’s just frozen.

“Felicity?” Tommy asks and his hand on her shoulder makes her jump.

She shakes her head, forcing herself to breathe and open her mouth. “No, no, I… he called me last night, I just listened to his voicemail, he… I… no, it… it can’t be…”

“The boat went down in a storm in the early hours of the morning. No one survived, the coast guard has already confirmed that.” Tommy tells her and despite his blunt words, his tone is full of emotion.

“But I… no… he… I can’t… we were going to…” She stumbles and she finally looks up at Tommy, her eyes filling with tears. “I can’t do this without him, Tommy.”

Her voice catches and the tears spill over, a sob choking in her throat and Tommy immediately pulls her into his arms, wrapping her up tightly. She feels suffocated but she clings to him, trying to remember the feeling of Oliver’s arms and trying not to think of the fact that she’ll never know that feeling again. Tommy holds her steady as she screams and sobs, her previous sadness from the morning feeling trivial and infinitesimally small in comparison to the heartache wracking her body now.

 

* * *

 

 

Tommy is her lifeline over the next 24 hours.

He wraps her in one of Oliver’s hoodies, which somehow still holds his scent after a year of being tucked away at the back of her closet, and two blankets. He leaves her on the couch whilst he packs her things into a bag and checks there’s no food that will go off in the fridge. He turns off all her appliances and calls her boss to book her off work for the next two weeks. Finally, he tugs her to her feet and forces her to change into actual clothes (which is just changing her pyjama pants for jeans, she won’t take Oliver’s hoodie off) and comb her hair into a ponytail. Then he rushes her out of the door and onto his private jet, bound for Starling and the people she calls home.

The atmosphere inside the mansion is sombre, a far cry from the laughter and fun she remembers from her childhood. Moira, Thea, Donna, and Raisa are gathered in the sitting room, all of them with tears streaming down their faces, and they all look up as the two youngsters enter the room.

Moira looks like she’s still in shock. Staring straight ahead at the wall and the only sign of life being her blinking, the tears silently rolling down her face and her fingers steadily fidgeting in her lap.

Thea has grown so much since the last time Felicity saw her but she looks so childlike now, curled up as small as she can make herself in Raisa’s lap. Her small hands cling to the mother-like figure and her small body shakes with the sobs she’s letting out.

“Oh, baby girl.” Donna sobs and Felicity falls into her mother’s arms, her cries growing louder once more as the safe feeling that comes with being with her mother settles around her.

After a moment she pulls back and nods at her mom, standing and moving across the room to settle next to Moira. The woman doesn’t show any signs that she’s noticed the girl, but Felicity takes a deep breath, placing her hand on top of Moira’s to stop her fidgeting. The older woman gasps and she looks up at Felicity, tears filling her eyes and she shakes her head.

“I… I can’t…” She says softly, her voice hoarse and her face completely bare. It’s the most emotion Felicity’s ever seen the usually stoic woman show and she immediately surges forward, wrapping her arms around the woman who’s become such a pivotal part in her life. Moira stills for a second before she relaxes, her hands clambering at Felicity’s back as she sobs into her neck. Felicity holds still, her own tears falling onto Moira’s back.

A pressure at her stomach makes Felicity pull back and look down, only to see Thea wiggling her way into the hug. She settles herself across both Moira and Felicity’s lap and wraps her arms around both of them, her tear stained face pressing into Oliver’s hoodie. Felicity drops a kiss to the top of the little girl’s head and drops one arm to wrap around her little body before she relaxes into the hug. All of them devastated, but united in their grief.

 

* * *

 

 

The funeral is huge.

It’s not that Felicity expected anything less. The Queens are practically Starling City royalty, no pun intended, and the loss of its head and heir has devastated the city.

She just can’t help but be a little perturbed by the plethora of crying girls in outfits that are, in her opinion, a little skimpy for a funeral, making a ridiculous amount of noise and weeping about how sad it is that they’re losing one of Starling’s best partiers. Oliver was so much more than that and she doesn’t want to see the embodiments of the self-destructive behaviour that meant Oliver died thinking that Felicity hated him.

Thea clings to her arm all day, not wanting to be around Moira and her ‘hostess’ mask. The little girl wants to be upset, as she has a right to be, so Felicity keeps her by her side, comforting her when her sobs get particularly heavy. After Tommy, his father, Walter and a couple of other men from the company lower the empty caskets into the empty graves outside, the group moves back into the house and settles in the sitting room.

Felicity makes for the couch, pulling Thea into her lap and rubbing a comforting hand over her back as the twelve-year-old cries into her neck. Most people move around them, only shooting the poor little angel a sympathetic smile or gesturing to Thea with an emotional gesture. Lots of hands on hearts and ones covering mouths as they talk to their companions about how sad it is for the youngster to lose her father and brother at such a young age has Felicity wanted to take Thea into a more private spot.

She’s considering taking her to her room when Walter approaches her with a few other men that Felicity recognises from QC. The Englishman smiles sadly at her, giving Thea a sympathetic look before he grows more serious, looking at Felicity. “Miss Smoak, do you think we might possibly discuss something with you in the other room?”

Thea’s arms tighten around her, but Moira appears next to her, reaching for her daughter. The matriarch gives Felicity an encouraging smile and takes the girl from her. Felicity looks at the men slightly apprehensively but stands and follows them through to the dining room.

“Take a seat, Miss Smoak.”

“Right, yeah, okay.” She babbles, settling down into the seats she’s spent so many evenings in, and she smooths down her black dress on her lap. “What is this about?”

“We understand that the deaths of Mr. Queen and his son are devastating. We at the company are mourning their loses with the utmost respect.” The man that Felicity recognises as Robert’s CTO tells her and Felicity nods, fidgeting with her hands in her lap. She’s still very confused as to why she’s here. “We do, however, have to start looking towards the future of Queen Consolidated.”

“Of course.” She says softly, watching in confusion as Walter pulls a piece of paper out of his suit jacket pocket and slides it across the table to her.

“Felicity… may I call you Felicity?” The stand-in-CEO asks and Felicity nods at the Englishman, reaching for the paper. “Robert gave the board this letter a few weeks ago.”

Frowning, Felicity looks down at Robert’s familiar scrawl.

_Dear friends and members of the board,_

_I have been thinking recently about my legacy and who I shall leave the company to when I wish to retire. Whilst I feel this is still a way off, I think it pertinent to begin thinking about this so that we may ensure a smooth and peaceful transfer when the time comes._

_As you are all aware, it has been my hope for some time that my son, Oliver, will take my position as CEO when I retire. As you are also all aware, these days that hope seems like a pipe dream. I am still dedicated to trying to turn Oliver around and get him on board with working for this company._

_In the event that my efforts prove futile, I still would like the company to be prepared. If in a year’s time, my son has not shown an interest in the company, I propose the following solution._

_Some of you may remember my son’s childhood friend, Felicity Smoak, from the time she spent interning with us during her teenage years as well as her presence whilst I attempted to show Oliver how to become a good CEO. I met Felicity when she was merely seven years old and, whilst I was aware of her brilliance even then, I could never have foreseen how important she would become to my son, our family, and this company’s development. Since graduating high school, Miss Smoak has continued to excel and prove her exemplary intelligence. Graduating summa cum lade at only nineteen with a master’s degree from MIT, she has since proved her value in the workplace at her job in Gotham working for our competitors, Wayne Enterprises._

_My solution is to ask Miss Smoak to accept a position as junior-CEO at Queen Consolidated. Whilst I am sure she will take as easily to this as she has to the other challenges she has been presented with in her life, this gracile period will allow for her to fully understand the role and the workload that comes along with it. I suspect she will learn quickly, and I hope that within two years of her accepting my offer, I will be able to promote her to CEO and I may step down to simply take a seat on the board. I will, therefore, still be able to guide her but Queen Consolidated will have a new, young leader at its realm. I have no doubt Miss Smoak will be able to lead this company into the modern age with elegance and flair._

_Robert Queen  
CEO_

“Oh my.”

That’s all Felicity can think to say.

CEO?

She knew Robert believed in her but not this much.

“Miss Smoak, we understand that this is a lot to take in.” The CTO tells her and Felicity takes a deep breath, looking up at the gathering of men in front of her with trepidation.

“That’s one way of putting it.” She tells them and a small smattering of chuckles goes around the room.

“Felicity, we would like to respect Robert’s vision and invite you to accept a position as junior-CEO at the company. You’ll train under me for however long you need before stepping up to take the CEO position full time. We, like Robert, believe that you’re fully capable of the task.” Walter tells her and Felicity takes a deep breath.

She wants to pinch herself.

She thinks that she might actually be dreaming.

Is this what she really wants? CEO of Queen Consolidated?

The circumstances are a nightmare, hellish in the purest definition of the word, but this position is a dream come true. CEO of a technology company? From what they’re saying, she could be in charge in two years, by the time she’s 22.

That’s _insane._

“Miss Smoak, we understand that this is a huge decision, but we really do need a decision.” The CTO tells her and Felicity takes a deep breath, looking down at Robert’s letter once more. His words stare back up at her, his praise of her and his immense belief in her abilities jumping out from the page and Felicity know there and then what she has to do.

“I’ll do it.”

 

* * *

 

 

The next two years are hard.

Felicity moves back to Starling and starts her work at QC as junior-CEO. The executives and the majority of the board are on her side, respecting Robert’s wishes, but she faces a lot of opposition. She’s a twenty-year-old taking a high position within a long-standing company that she technically has never been employed by. She understands the nay-sayers but that doesn’t stop her from wanting to prove them wrong.

She works her butt off, learning everything she can from everyone who offers her advice. She may not have a business degree, but she forces herself to understand the ins and outs of the industry, to know where, when and how she might be taken advantage of and how she can take advantage of others. She directly involves herself in R&D, helping them to create new products that can put QC back on the map of the everyday man as well as large corporations and she designs a whole new system for the company, making their IT run more efficiently and with more user-friendly interfaces.

By the time her 22nd birthday rolls around, the board are singing her praises and begging her to step up to CEO full time.

Felicity has enjoyed herself, she loves learning and QC is something she’s so passionate about. She wants to protect the legacy of the man who always supported her and she wants to uphold Oliver’s family’s influence within the business.

It hasn’t come without its sacrifices, however.

Moira is more resigned every day. Her involvement at the office grows as her time spent at home lessens. She marries Walter but Felicity’s unsure if she truly loves the Englishman.

Tommy is delusional, convinced that Oliver is still alive. It sometimes feels like he’s in her office every day, presenting her with new evidence as to why their best friend isn’t dead. No matter how many times she tells him that it’s unhealthy for the both of them to cling to such a pipe dream, he seems to never give up hope.

And then there’s Thea.

Sweet, innocent Thea who seems to add something to her list of misdemeanours every day. Moira is at the end of her tether with the fourteen-year-old and Walter is doing all he can to support her, but the girl is driving herself off the edge of a cliff, mirroring the path Felicity watched her brother take. She’s been to pick the girl up from school after she’s been suspended more times than she can count, and Felicity has no idea how to get through to her.

There just aren’t enough hours in the day.

There are two things that remains constant in all of this.

Firstly, her mother. Donna Smoak has been a fighter from the day she was born and she’ll be damned if she’s going to let a high-pressure job and a family in deep mourning drive her baby girl to insanity. Somewhere along the way, Donna’s learnt to say exactly the right thing and, without Oliver there to do it anymore, her mother is now the one she leans on when she needs a pep talk.

Her second option comes in, however, when she has a really bad day.

The peaceful alcove of trees behind Queen mansion that house the empty graves of Robert and Oliver has somehow become her safe haven over the past two years. Whenever she’s feeling sad or overwhelmed, she heads there to talk to her best friend. She knows that his grave is empty so even if she did believe in the afterlife and graves being a portal to the other side that it wouldn’t work but it makes her feel better nonetheless and it makes her feel closer to Oliver, even when the years since his death seem like eons.

She finds herself there the night before the press conference that will announce her ascension to CEO to the entire world.

Yeah, she’s a little scared to say the least.

“Hi, Oliver. Hi, Robert.” She says softly as she eases herself down onto the grass in front of the graves. “Well tomorrow’s the big day. CEO of Queen Consolidated. Who would’ve ever thought? Well, I guess you Robert, seeing as this was all your big idea, and Oliver, you always said I was going to take over the world someday. I know this would never be happening if you were both still here, but I really wish you were. Nothing would make me feel stronger now than a hug from you, Oliver. I… I’ve said this a million times, but I hope you know, wherever you are, that I love you so very much. I never meant to be so cruel, especially it being the last thing I ever said to you. I love you. I think I’m always going to love you and I don’t quite know how that works but I think the company is a way to do that. I want to make it amazing for _you._ I know you never wanted it, but this was supposed to be your job. I hope I’m making you proud. Both of you.”

“You definitely are.”

Felicity whirls around at the intrusion, frowning at the sight of Moira stood a few feet away. The matriarch smiles warmly at her as Felicity wipes her tears away and waves her down when she goes to stand. To Felicity’s amazement, she moves towards her and settles down next to her in the grass.

“You come here often?” Moira asks her and Felicity shrugs, looking back towards the headstones.

“Often enough. I… Oliver was always where I felt the safest. It seems that’s continued into his afterlife.” She says softly and Moira hums, a soft smile pulling at her lips.

“He’d like that thought. He always wanted to protect you, to make you feel safe. You were the most important person in his life. You know that, don’t you?” Moira tells her softly and Felicity smiles as her tears start to fall again.

“He was certainly the most important one in mine.” She replies, reaching up to wipe the tears away. “I was so sure that I wouldn’t be able to do this without him. Even when we were fighting, I always felt like I knew we’d make it up someday.”

“Oh sweetheart…” Moira sighs and wraps an arm around her shoulders. It’s an unusual show of affection from Moira and Felicity leans into it. “He loved you so much, you know that, don’t you?”

Felicity nods, sniffling heavily as she tries to stop the onslaught of tears. “I… I never told you this, in fact, Tommy’s the only one who knows. I didn’t want to make things worse at the time.” Moira frowns down at her as Felicity reaches into her pocket and pulls out her phone. “Oliver called me, the night before the Gambit went down. I missed the call, but he left a voicemail. A long one. He apologised, told me that he loved me and that he wanted to try at us when he got back from China.”

“Can I… can I hear it?” Moira asks tentatively, her arm still curled around Felicity’s shoulders and Felicity nods, pulling up the recording.

She’s long since changed phones but she found a way to keep the recording of Oliver’s voice. She can’t count the amount of times she’s replayed it over the past two years. As his voice fills the quiet gathering of the Queen estate, she finds that she can recite it now. His words still hold every bit of meaning that they did the first time she heard it and by the time it ends, she’s crying heavily and Moira is wiping a few stray tears of her own.

“That was… thank you for that. I think I’d forgotten the sound of his voice.” Moira tells her heavily and Felicity smiles, attempting to wipe her own tears.

“That’s partly why I love it. It’s the last piece of him I have and if that’s what I have left, I’m so glad it’s as beautiful as it is.” Felicity tells her and Moira smiles, nodding her head. “I just… I wish he knew that I felt the same way. I wish he knew just how much I loved him, how much I still love him, even now.”

She chokes up as she speaks and Moira sighs, squeezing her tightly. “He knew. Deep down he knew. The two of you. You were always magic.”

“I’m not entirely sure I know who I am without him.” Felicity says sadly, looking back towards his name printed so permanently on his grave.

“Oh, sweet girl, you don’t have to. He’s always with you. He’s with us all, they both are. And they would both be so proud of you. _I’m_ so proud of you. You’re going to be great tomorrow. I can’t think of anyone better to continue Robert’s legacy.” Moira tells her and Felicity smiles up at her, wiping her own tears away.

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

They stay there for a while longer, until the sun sets fully and the chill settles over the landscape. The two women never discuss their conversation, but their interactions are certainly changed by it, an easier and more familial dynamic growing between the two of them.

 

* * *

 

 

Oliver can barely believe that he’s back in Starling.

After Slade and the Mirakuru and his time with ARGUS, Oliver doesn’t know if he really recognises the city he calls home. He knows he certainly doesn’t know the boy he used to be when he walked these streets.

Pulling up outside his family’s company, he’s amazed at both the familiarity of the place and the differences. The steps outside the front look different and the old static sign has been placed by an electronic one, the Q of the logo turning on a point on the display.

Taking a deep breath, he forces himself to focus on the mission. That’s the important thing here and keeping his mind on it is the best way to guarantee that he doesn’t endanger the people close to him.

“Kang’s headed inside.” He comments to Maseo who nods his head, looking down at the tablet in his hands.

“ARGUS has detected bursts of data emanating from Kang’s office computer, but it’s protected by SHACAL-4 encryption. New implication by the new CEO, apparently.” Maseo tells him and Oliver frowns, wondering which of his father’s colleagues would have taken over or maybe his mom stepped up.

“Okay, pretend for a second like I don’t know what that is.” He snarks but Maseo doesn’t take the bait, his mind obviously on the mission and getting home to Hong Kong.

“It means we can’t hack into Kang’s computer. You’ll need to get directly onto the Queen Consolidated network.” Maseo explains and Oliver frowns, shaking his head.

“Maseo, Waller was pretty clear what would happen to people if they found out I’m still alive. So, taking a stroll through my _family’s_ company is probably not the best plan.” Oliver insists, he will not put his family at risk like that. The most important thing is making sure that they remain safe.

“You’ll go in at night. I don’t have time to familiarize myself with the office floor plans.” Maseo states unequivocally and Oliver sighs, looking back towards the building.

He freezes, stone cold, as a small girl in a school uniform appears at the top of the stairs. The wavy brown hair, her sweet button nose, and the deep brown eyes that he can just about recognise from his far away point.

There’s no denying that this is his baby sister.

Good lord, she’s so _tall._

“Oh my god.” He mutters and Maseo frowns, watching as Oliver’s eyes follow Thea to a car parked outside the building. The girl looks back at the building, glaring at something before she climbs in and slams the door.

“Oh, that is your girl, from your photo, no?” Maseo asks and Oliver frowns, looking back to his pseudo-friend. His eyes, however, aren’t focused on the car Thea just climbed in but instead on the steps by the entrance to the building.

Oliver whirls his head around and his breath catches in his throat because stood there, looking more beautiful than he could ever remember, is Felicity.

Blonde hair in beautifully tamed curls around her hair, her soft body encased in a tight, professional dress that hugs all of her curves in exactly the right way, and sky-high heels on her feet that only highlight her toned legs. Oliver can’t drink in the sight of her quickly enough and far sooner than he would have liked, she turns around and heads back inside the building. As she disappears out of sight, his hand moves to check the pocket of his jacket, making sure that the torn up and battered photo that has gotten him through so many terrible nights is still safely stored there.

He wants to rush after her, to tell her that he’s alive. He wants more than anything to scoop her into his arms and kiss her senselessly, pouring out every emotion that has only intensified within him in their time apart.

But he won’t. As much as he wants to, he would _never_ sacrifice her safety like that. If she’s living a safe, happy life, that’s more than enough for him.

As much as it breaks his heart.

 

* * *

 

 

Oliver convinces Maseo to follow Thea’s car.

He cannot allow himself to follow Felicity. That would be too hard, too tempting to reveal himself, but there’s a mystery around Thea. She’s changed so much on the outside, he wants to see how much she’s changed in other ways as well.

She goes back to the mansion but Oliver is baffled when instead of going inside, she heads around the back of the house. Oliver stays close to the trees and follows her to an opening where two headstones stand. He knows immediately that this is his and his father’s graves.

“Hi, Ollie. Dad.” She says softly and Oliver resists the urge to gasp at how simultaneously mature and innocent her voice sounds. “I stopped by the office today. Felicity’s doing really well, I just wish she had a little more time for me. I know she’s busy and everything, and she said that we could go to the spa together on Sunday, I just wish that I could lean on her more.”

Oliver’s heart breaks at Thea’s heartbroken tone. She seems so alone, in the way that no fifteen-year-old should be.

“Queenie.”

Oliver watches as his sister turns at the sound of a newcomer and he frowns at the obviously dodgy looking guy.

“Your sister’s boyfriend?” Maseo asks and Oliver frowns, shrugging a little.

“I-I don’t know.” He replies quietly. He knows he shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but this guy really doesn’t seem like the kind of people he wants his baby sister to be around.

“You got my delivery?” Thea asks, sticking her hands into the pockets of her jacket and her school uniform only makes this whole situation worse somehow.

“You have some of that inheritance of yours?” The guy replies and Oliver watches in utter disbelief as his _fifteen-year-old_ sister trades a wedge of bills for a small bag of what is obviously drugs.

“What the hell is this?”

Oliver lets out a simultaneous sigh of relief and surprise as his other best friend appears from the trees. Tommy storms over and gets in the kid’s face, puffing out his chest and the kid squares up to him.

“What are you doing here, Tommy?” Thea asks incredulously and Oliver sighs in relief as his friend snatches the bag out of his baby sister’s hands.

“About to ask Jordan the same thing.” Tommy glares, turning his attention back to the drug dealer who smirks.

“Just paying the family my respects.”

“Yeah, and so you did. Now you’re going to stay away from her permanently.” Tommy warns him and the kid steps back, raising an eyebrow before he turns around and walks away.

“Whatever.”

“What the hell, Thea? You should be bringing flowers here, not looking to score drugs!” Tommy rounds on Thea, his voice raising and Thea huffs, crossing her hands across her chest.

“What are you even doing here, Tommy?” She asks and the pain in her voice cuts straight through Oliver’s heart.

“I came to thank you for my birthday card.” Tommy replies and even Oliver, who hasn’t interacted with him in three years, can see that it’s a lie.

“Felicity sent you, didn’t she?” Thea scoffs, rolling her eyes and Tommy takes a deep breath.

“Yes. But you should also know that my party tonight is strictly 21 and over.” The tall man tells her and Thea laughs, shaking her head.

“Well, I think we both know that that’s not true.” She smirks, squaring up to Tommy with far too much confidence for a teenager of her age and size.

“Oh, it is. As far as you’re concerned. You shouldn’t grow up too fast.” Tommy tells her seriously, but Thea is not having any of it. It reminds him far too starkly of he and Felicity in their teenage years and he’ll be damned if his sister heads off on a similar destruction path to his own.

“Go away Tommy, you’re just here because you have some guilty conscience and because Felicity told you to be. You’re not my brother.” Thea bites back and Oliver watches as Tommy’s eyes immediately drift to his headstone.

“No, I’m not but I think about him every day and for the first time, I’m glad he’s gone because seeing you like this would break his heart.” Tommy’s words are harsh and Oliver wonders how many similar conversations to this have happened for Tommy to be uses something as heavy as that. The flash of heart break on Thea’s face makes his heart ache but she quickly schools it, rolling her eyes.

“Whatever Tommy. You don’t get to judge me. What role models did I have? You and Ollie, who were worse than me at fifteen and Felicity, who no one would _ever_ be able to keep up with. Gee wonder why I fell on the delinquent side of the scale.” She shrugs cockily, moving away from Tommy and towards the house. Oliver watches his friend’s face fall and Tommy sighs loudly.

“Thea…”

“No, Tommy, leave me alone. You don’t care, Mom doesn’t care. The only people that give a damn are Felicity and Walter and they’re far too busy with the company to give me any time. So, this is where I’ve landed. Oh well.” Thea throws her hands up in the air and heads back towards the house, leaving Tommy stood there by himself and Oliver sighs, wondering how on earth things got to this point whilst he’s been away.

 

* * *

 

 

Oliver forces himself to push the whole Thea situation to the back of his mind. He can’t intervene without making all of their lives worse so he just has to force himself to believe that Tommy and Felicity will find a way through Thea’s dark tunnel.

He instead concentrates on the mission and getting the information that he needs.

Turns out, that’s a lot harder than he thought.

He still hasn’t worked out who is now CEO by the time he’s dropping through the roof of his father’s old office on the executive floor of QC. He could have googled it, he supposes, but the afternoon had been taken up with planning their attack and his focus has been more on that than figuring which of his father’s executives had taken the helm.

That means, however, that he was completely unprepared for the tirade of emotions that hit upon dropping down into an office that could clearly only belong to one person. If the pops of bright colours and the Robin Hood poster that used to hang in her childhood bedroom weren’t enough of a hint, the numerous photos of Felicity and his family dotted around the office are a dead giveaway.

Two frames on the wall, catch his eye and Oliver gasps as he realises that he’s looking at the two pages he filled up in the scrapbook he’d given her for her 16th birthday. The idea was that they’d fill it together over the years, but they’d never gotten around to it. Now the two pages hang there, like a shrine to their friendship, and Oliver has to blink back the tears that pool in his eyes as he looks over them. Pictures from vacations they’d taken with their families, lazy Sundays spent with no personal space between the two of them, even the photo taken in the hospital when they first realised Felicity’s nut allergy. She’d refused to let go of his hand and Oliver has stayed by her side for the entire 72 hours she was in there.

 

What he would do now to feel the warmth of her hand in his.

He thinks over what this means, Felicity as CEO of QC, and he cannot stop the wide smile that spreads across his face at the thought. He hasn’t smiled like this in three years but the idea of her following her dreams whilst upholding his family’s legacy, he can’t help but grin.

Always so remarkable.

“Oliver? Are you in position?” Maseo’s voice in his ear makes him jump and Oliver swallows thickly. Right, the mission.

“Yeah. Yeah.” He sighs and heads over to the computer. He frowns a little at the idea of breaking into his love’s computer, but he knows in a strange way, this will mean that he’s keeping her safe.

“The company computers are protected by biometric encryption. Look for a fingerprint reader.” Maseo tells him and Oliver frowns, immediately locating it.

“Why wouldn’t they take out of the directory?” He questions and hears Maseo scoff in his ear.

“Why would they? You’re dead.” Maseo states and Oliver supposes that he can’t argue with that logic. He presses his finger against the scanner and the system unlocks. He plugs in the crawler, looking over the screen as it starts to run.

A folder is open on the desktop and Oliver frowns at a folder named ‘Robert Queen PRIVATE’.

Fumbling around in the desk for a USB key, he manages to copy the file called ‘For Oliver’ onto the disk.

“Oliver, you have to go.” Maseo tells him when he pulls the crawler out, but the video file is still downloading and Oliver feels like this is something he needs to see.

“I’m not done.” He insists but the sound of the elevator dinging makes him dart behind a wall.

“Someone’s coming.” Maseo’s voice whispers in his ear and Oliver winces at the sound of high heels clicking on the floor. They grow closer and Oliver realises, as the voice drifts to his ears, that it’s Felicity.

“Yeah, okay, Tommy, take her to mine. I’ll make sure she gets to school in the morning.” She’s saying into the phone and Oliver can hear the weariness in her voice. “I won’t be longer than twenty minutes. Okay, yeah, see you then.”

A beep signals the end of her conversation and Oliver watches cautiously as she approaches the two frames he had been looks at. Her fingers reach up to one of the photos, touching it through the glass almost reverently and tears fill Oliver’s eyes as her face comes into profile much more clearly.

She’s _gorgeous._

Not that she hadn’t been the last time he saw her, but she’s shed all her baby fat and her new glasses help her look both mature and professional. She’s thrown her hair into a bun at the top of her head and Oliver takes a deep breath as he remembers the spot in her neck that just seems made for him to bury his nose in.

He only gets more emotional when she starts to speak.

“God, I wish you were here. I’m trying so hard, Oliver. The company is so much and Thea’s getting worse and worse every day. I can’t stop her from this. You always knew how to make me feel better, to make me feel like I could do anything. I miss you so much. God, I love you.”

Her voice cracks a little at her declaration of love and Oliver feels it right along with her. He needs to get out of here, before he does something that he’ll seriously regret. Luckily, she lets out a cough and wipes her tears away.

“Look at me, confessing my love to a picture of a dead man. Maybe the investors are right and I am crazy.”

She lets out an adorable little scoff before she collects her things and heads out the door, allowing Oliver to grab the USB and sneak out the way he came in.

As wonderful as it was to see her, and how much it reaffirmed that he loves her, Oliver knows that he needs to get out of Starling as soon as he can. Being here only endangers the people he loves and he cannot risk their lives for the sake’s of practically stalking them around town.

 

* * *

 

 

By the time the fall of 2012 rolls in the cold air, Felicity feels like she may have actually gotten hold of her position at the helm of QC. They’re rolling out new products consistently and she feels like they’re finally competing in league with the innovators of the day. QC has managed to re-establish itself within the technological world as a front runner and she’s proud of the work she’s accomplished in the three years since she stepped up to CEO full time.

Moira seems more settled as well. She’s relaxed into her marriage with Walter and is trying to help in curtailing Thea’s wild ways. The teenager is still rebelling at every turn but seems aware that her behaviour is destructive which Felicity knows is the first step towards sobering up.

And then there’s Tommy. Sweet, sweet Tommy. He’s determined to get her back out on the singles market, claiming someone as young and successful as her shouldn’t spend their life alone but Felicity knows that she’ll never be able to love anyone the way that she loved Oliver and, at the moment, she’s still unsure if she even wants to try. She’s fulfilled enough at the moment with a job she loves and friends and family that she adores. She doesn’t need a partner right now.

At least, that’s what she tells herself.

She’s at home, putting her feet up after a long day of meetings with the board when her phone rings. Felicity rolls her eyes at Tommy’s picture, reaching for it with a laugh already bubbling on her lips.

“Tommy, I already told you, I’m not coming out…”

“Turn on Channel 52. Now.” His voice is urgent and Felicity frowns, reaching for the TV remote with her free hand so that she can switch to the relevant network.

_“Oliver Queen is alive. The Starling City resident was found by fishermen in the North China Sea five days ago. Five years after he was presumed dead following the accident at sea which claimed The Queen's Gambit. Queen was a tabloid presence and fixture on the club scene. Before his disappearance, he was acquitted of assault stemming from a highly publicized drunken altercation with paparazzi. Queen is the son of Starling City billionaire Robert Queen who was also on board but now officially confirmed as deceased.”_

Felicity freezes. Her body unable to move. She hasn’t felt this stuck for five years, not since Tommy told her the news of the Gambit going down. The presenter’s voice fades into mumble and it’s all Felicity can do to not allow her phone to tumble to the ground.

“Smoak, you okay?” Tommy asks her gently and Felicity takes a deep, shaky breath.

“It… it’s true?” She asks and holds her breath as she waits for Tommy’s confirmation.

“Yeah, it’s true, Lis. He’s coming home.” He tells her and she lets out a long sob.

He’s coming home.

_Oliver’s coming home._

 

* * *

 

 

The mansion seems too vast and empty to him now.

It worries him, to think what might be hiding around corners and in alcoves. It’s a logistical safety nightmare and he’s already thinking of ten different ways to ensure his family’s safety is more closely guarded.

Oliver’s delighted to be reunited with Thea and he can’t deny the elation at the sight of Tommy but he’s bitterly disappointed that the evening hasn’t brought along with it a certain blonde bombshell who has never left Oliver’s mind.

He’s back in Starling to right his father’s wrongs, sure, but he’s also got some wrongs of his own to right and pretty much all of them start and end with Felicity Smoak.

It’s his mother who inquires after her, directing her question towards Tommy.

“Oh, she said she didn’t want to intrude. I told her that it was utter nonsense but she insisted. Said she had some work to be done at the office anyway and that she’d catch up at some other time.” Tommy explains and Oliver can’t help but feel a little disappointed at the casual implications to Felicity’s avoidance of him.

He doesn’t want to ‘catch up’. He wants to tell her how much he loves her and kiss her senseless.

Unless you could call that catching up.

“Well, why don’t you swing by the office in the morning and surprise her, Ollie? She’d love that, I know she would.” Thea smiles at him from across the table, lighting up for the first time since she’d hugged him on the stairs. Oliver readily agrees, all for anything that puts him in Felicity’s path _and_ makes his sister smile like that.

That’s how he finds himself walking across the executive floor of Queen Consolidated the next morning towards the CEO’s office with trepidation and fear bubbling in his stomach.

She’s hunched over her desk, completely encompassed in whatever it is that she’s working on. Oliver can’t help the smile that spreads across his face at the sight of that adorable little crease she gets in her forehead when she’s concentrating.

Taking a deep breath, he forces his nerves down and raps against the door, leaning against the doorframe with a smile on his face.

“Miss Smoak? Sorry, I know I don’t have an appointment…”

She gasps, looking up at the sound of the familiar but long, forgotten voice. Oliver has wondered, at some points over the five years, if he’s forgotten the sound of her voice and just made something up in his head. Has she done the same thing?  

Her hair is pulled into a professional ponytail and he sees that her body encased in a dark red silk blouse and a tight black skirt that clings to her curves in marvellous ways as she stands up. Her heels only add to the image and Oliver’s eyes drink in the sight of her like he’s been lost in the desert and she’s an oasis of fresh water.

She’s so goddamn _beautiful._

Her eyes fill with tears at the sight of him and Oliver can’t help but follow suit. He never thought that he’d get to this moment, to see her standing in front of him, welcoming him home. It’s all he’s secretly hoped and dreamed of for the past five years.

“Oh my…” Her knees give out and she surges towards the floor. Oliver moves quickly and with practiced ease, catching her before the impact and hurling her back up to her feet. He settles his arms around her waist, still is slight disbelief that he’s able to touch her and her hands rest lightly on his chest, eliciting a soft gasp from him at the sensation. It’s been a long time since anyone’s touched him with that gentle of a caress.  

“You okay?” He asks softly and Felicity nods, the tears streaming down her face now.

She surges up onto her toes, her hands sliding up to wrap around his neck and she squeezes him tightly as she buries her head in his chest. Oliver clings to her just as tightly, the tears falling down his cheeks as he buries his nose in that familiar spot in her neck and breathes in the smell of her perfume.

“God, I missed you so much.” He mumbles into her neck, knowing he doesn’t need to speak any louder. This is between the two of them. They’re both finally home.

“I… I missed you so much. I can’t believe you’re really hear.” She whimpers back, her hands grasping at him tightly and Oliver breathes her in, his arms pulling her impossibly closer.

“I thought about you every day. You got me through the worst nights of my life.” He admits, unable to stop everything spilling over now that he’s here with her and they finally pull back. Their hands immediately clamour to find some to hold, not willing to let each other go and Oliver’s cup her face and hers rest over his, intertwining their fingers against her soft skin.

“Oliver, I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through…” She tells him, the tears in her eyes so heartbreaking to him that he can’t help but surge forward and brush his lips over each eyelid as they close under his breath.

“Shush. None of that matters now. What matters is that I’m home and that I’m never letting you go again.” He tells her and Felicity nods, taking a shaky breath.

“That… that sounds perfect.” She replies and a grin splits across his face.

“God, Felicity, please tell me I can kiss you.” He begs and she smiles right back at him. He’s already going crazy but then she drags her bottom lip through her teeth and Oliver cannot stop the animalistic growl that rips through his throat. “Baby, please…”

“Kiss me, Oliver.” She tells him softly and Oliver does not need to be told twice.

He surges forward and, as his lips slide against hers, he knows that he is finally home.

 

* * *

 

 

Later that night, they’re lying in bed in Felicity’s apartment.

The lights of the city outside are the only illumination and Oliver watches in wonder at the way Felicity glows even under the neon lights of the corporate world of Starling City. She’s so beautiful and he feels like he could wake up on Lian Yu at any moment, this having all been a dream.

“You’ve fought so hard to come home to me, Oliver.”

Her voice cuts through the silence and Oliver looks down as her fingers trace over his bare chest and littering of scars that cover him.

“It was the thought of you, that got me through it all. The image of your smile, your unwavering belief in me. You guided me through hell, Felicity.” He tells her honestly, his hand moving to cup her soft cheek. Her skin in so smooth and Oliver cannot get enough of it. She intakes a sharp breath and looks away quickly, swallowing. Oliver frowns and turns her head gently back to look at him. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I was… I was so mean the last time we spoke. God, Oliver, hearing that voicemail and then thinking that you’d drowned knowing the last words you heard me speak were telling you to get out? It broke me. I’ve never gotten over it. I hoped, prayed and wished for you to know how much I love you.” She tells him, her voice cracking as she begins to cry and Oliver sighs deeply, his thumb stretching to wipe her tears away with a featherlight touch. He’s still a little scared to touch her, as if she might vanish at any point.

“Hey, I knew. The other twelve years? Those were far more important than the one we spent arguing.” He tells her and she takes a shaky breath, nodding her head. He can tell that she doesn’t quite believe him so he leans forward, pressing a long kiss to her forehead before he moves away from her.

“Oliver?” She asks shakily, worry evident in her voice but he merely sends her an encouraging smile as he reaches for his pants. He finds what he’s looking for in the pocket and moves back to the bed. Smiling at her, he settles against the head board and offers an arm towards her. She smiles shyly before moving to duck underneath it, sighing contently as her cheek nuzzles against his chest.

Using one hand, he unfolds the tattered photo and Felicity gasps as she sees the image of herself. It’s one he took of her one morning in the months they’d spent together in Cambridge. He had been looking through his photos and realised that he didn’t have any of her from that year so insisted that he rectified the situation immediately. Felicity had complained, stating that he should give her a little more time to get ready but he waved her off, telling her that she looks beautiful. He’d snapped the photo at that exact moment and it quickly became his favorite image of her _ever._ That real smile painted on her face, all shy and so goddamn beautiful. He hadn’t been able to resist snatching it up and taking it with him when he’d gotten on the Gambit.

“I had this with me through everything and when I wanted to give up, when I thought that coming home was a pipe dream that I’d never manage to reach, I would take this photo out and just look at you. You would remind me how much I had to live for and how much I wanted to come home so that we could fix things and maybe build a life together. You saved me, Felicity, a million times over the past five years.”

His voice is thick by the time he’s finished and Felicity is crying, sniffling sadly.

“ _Oliver…”_ She sobs lightly and Oliver smiles, dropping a kiss to her forehead. She takes a shaky breath and takes the photo from him, placing it safely on the nightstand. Oliver grins as she slowly climbs into his lap, her legs straddling his lap. His hands land on her waist as hers move to his face, running her fingers through his stubble. “God, I love you.”

“I love you so much.” He tells her, holding her gaze and he can’t help but grin as she surges forward to kiss him.

They’ve still got a lot to figure out.

He has a mission to complete and he needs to keep her as safe as he can. She’s far too important to lose her now.

For now, however, the two of them in this bed and their love is enough.

They’re going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a quick little timeline just to help:
> 
> 1985 – Oliver born           1987 – Felicity born  
> 1994 – first meet              1995 – Thea born  
> 2001 – Felicity skips two grades (now same grade as Oliver)  
> 2003 – both graduate  
> 2006 – Felicity graduates MIT  
> 2007 – Gambit goes down, Felicity moves back to Starling + becomes junior-CEO  
> 2009 – Felicity becomes CEO  
> 2010 – Oliver is brought back to Starling by ARGUS  
> 2012 – Oliver returns home


End file.
